Horses Saving Humans?!?

A horse as a flight animal. Danger = Ruuuunnn!!!

If humans were an animal of prey, we would rather run than discuss the matter as well…however, there have been some Horse Heroes recorded lately…here are a few stories.

COW MANIA:

I read about a lady from England who went out to see what was bothering a wailing calf.

She realized her mistake after she had already gone into the pen when the Momma cow rushed to the calf’s aid thinking the woman was the issue…

The cow sat on the woman. Not good. The woman realized her predicament and thought she was a goner. But, suddenly, her horse who shared the pasture, came over and started kicking the beejueezus out of the cow. The cow moved and the lady crawled to safety. I’m guessing the horse had had experience with kicking this particular cow… since they shared a pasture. However, this horse came to the rescue of her owner! A remarkable story.

COYOTE STAND OFF:

I just read about this older rancher who went out to feed in the morning and came face to face with a pack of nasty looking coyotes. Well, his trusty three horses who were also in the field, came to his rescue. They circled the wagons and defended their owner against the coyotes. The rancher reported seeinga few direct hits from his mares to the largest coyote. Once safe, the rancher exclaimed that he was absolutely sure that these three mares saved his life. Nice, ladies! Here he is pictured with his horsey heroes!

AUTISTIC CHILD

Another story which doesn’t really fit my model here, but is a good story nonetheless. In this article, a father swears that his horse helped his autistic child. He says that the child uttered his first constructed conversation when riding the horse. And, he feels that the horse was extra special gentle with the little boy.

Much more gentle than with anyone else. I’m sure this is true because I have a pretty rank lead mare at my ranch and she will test any grown-up I put on her back but will be an angel with a kid. Go figure.

COWBOY COLLEGE STORY:

I once interviewed Rocky from the famed Cowboy College. He said that he got lost in the Arizona mountains during really bad weather. He swears that he was so overwhelmed with exhaustion and cold, he passed out while riding. The next thing he knew, he was being brought into the ranch house. His mare had gingerly carried him the extra miles back home. He feels he owes his life to this horse.

CLOSE TO HOME STORIES

I know that my horses are your normal horses…really no heroes among them. They will, however, step up and settle a score for me or make things right, if you know what I mean. I have accidentally been bitten by my lead mare but once she realized her offense, she looked aghast and just stood there bracing herself for what she felt was a fair retaliation blow. I didn’t. I just started to sob gently and she nuzzled me. Good enough. She made it right. (Horse bites HURT.)

My most literal score settling incident happened when I positioned myself badly and received a grazing kick from a colt. His Mama, the same horse who accidentally bit me, ran after him and kicked his hiney across the field and up onto the hill. Atta girl!

And, as I’m sure you have all seen, when you are out in the field with the herd and one particular horse is being a butt-head, the rest of the group will snap at some point and say, ENOUGH! Usually the offending horse will run off and hide behind a tree until he can sneak back unnoticed.

Indirectly, horses have saved my life in an emotional way. During my divorce many years ago, I was not healthy minded. Yet, through all of the drama, I still had to take care of my animals. I dragged my pitiful self out to the barn to help them with their lives. Hmmmm, I seemed to forget myself when I was out there. They got me out of my funk and inspired me to find some money and save the ranch for us. They got me back into the game.

Another indirect save was just last year when I lost Fanny. I stumbled upon her body in the barn. I had never seen a lifeless pet before and I was quite startled and shocked. I started crying. After a few minutes of this, I noticed that the whole barn was quiet and watching me. Now, I had no horses IN the barn. But, they had all come up TO the barn. Every one of them was peering inside through a window or an open board, trying to figure out why Mom was so upset. They weren’t demanding treats or hay or anything from me. They were being honorable. I remember looking up at all the faces and realizing how lucky I was.

That is why, for me, the human — the predator on the evolution scale — I find it fascinating when the prey animal (the horse) helps us.

posted @ https://www.horseandman.com/horse-stories/horses-saving-human-lives/10/04/2011/

Fauci’s Great Escape

For over two years, a small weasel of a man has held this country captive. His dictates and mandates from an unelected position gave him overwhelming power, which he wielded pompously. He masked us, isolated us, and violated our rights. Instead of advising and recommending, he declared and ordained. His Napoleon Complex driving him to declare rules and regulations for the rest of us, while he, himself, was above them.

At first the country was somewhat compliant—two weeks to shorten the curve—we were told. It was our “duty” to protect and “save Grandma”. As we complied, Fauci advanced. Interestingly enough, although this was a “novel” virus, he already knew treatments would not work against it. (Until later, when his OWN treatment could be brought to bear.) No, no treatments…but a vaccine? THAT was the ticket! And the race was on to develop a one.

But the vaccine was met with hesitancy—what was in it? What were the side effects? Side effects be damned, it was declared an emergency and authorized. Everything done quickly—without the usual scrutiny. But eventually results DID started to filter in—not through mainstream media though—they were in lockstep with the dictator. These were brave doctors—finding alternate treatments that worked—outside of Fauci’s control—and the little Napoleon was triggered! Someone questioning his authority? He would further squeeze the populace into submission!

Week after week, he made the rounds on television, basking in the adoring attention of the vapid commentators, soaking up unearned praise and making his proclamations—teasing about allowing the possible removal of masks—only to jerk the general populace around once again. He pulled the strings, he made America dance to his tune…or at least he tried.

Inevitably the house of cards began to crumble. Patriots refused to take the jab; they left their jobs to avoid mandates; legal challenges were filed. Side effects began to emerge. Questions arose. Data from other countries seeped into our alternate news streams. Anger and rebellion were festering and with laser focus found a target…Fauci.

In congressional hearings, Fauci admitted he “didn’t know” if employees at the NIH were receiving royalties. They aren’t required to report it. He couldn’t remember if he was receiving them, but did remember some nominal amount ($209?) that he thought he received –copping to a tiny amount to avoid scrutiny on all the years he worked there. The sleight of hand so no one asks about patents he holds on work he did while a government employee. I believe Fauci has been socking away royalties and patent cash for years…preparing for this moment…for when public opinion has turned against him.

And now it has been reported that Fauci has covid. He is in isolation and taking whatever failed “wonder” drug he was previously pushing. (Out of sight, out of mind.) Then what happened? He caught a rebound case—as a lot of people do when taking that drug. So isolation again and another round of treatment. Or as I have come to think of it as pre-flight time.

I think Fauci is planning his great escape. He can no longer avoid the nasty turn of public sentiment. Congress has begun asking difficult questions…questions he does not want to answer. If he stays, he will certainly face the music sooner or later. I believe even that little pipsqueak can read the writing on the wall. He will take his ill-gotten gains and abscond with them—not publicly—oh no. I believe publicly the poor doctor will succumb to this disease…that will be the tragic announcement. Private ceremony, no flowers, nothing to see here. Move along. But the real Fauci will be living out his life elsewhere—probably an island without extradition—with OUR money. I hope his conscience eats him alive. Or maybe…

The Declaration of Independence

Note: The following text is a transcription of the Stone Engraving of the parchment Declaration of Independence (the document on display in the Rotunda at the National Archives Museum.) The spelling and punctuation reflects the original.

In Congress, July 4, 1776

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America, When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.–That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, –That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.–Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies:

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Brittish brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.

Georgia

Button Gwinnett

Lyman Hall

George Walton

North Carolina

William Hooper

Joseph Hewes

John Penn

South Carolina

Edward Rutledge

Thomas Heyward, Jr.

Thomas Lynch, Jr.

Arthur Middleton

Massachusetts

John Hancock

Maryland

Samuel Chase

William Paca

Thomas Stone

Charles Carroll of Carrollton

Virginia

George Wythe

Richard Henry Lee

Thomas Jefferson

Benjamin Harrison

Thomas Nelson, Jr.

Francis Lightfoot Lee

Carter Braxton

Pennsylvania

Robert Morris

Benjamin Rush

Benjamin Franklin

John Morton

George Clymer

James Smith

George Taylor

James Wilson

George Ross

Delaware

Caesar Rodney

George Read

Thomas McKean

New York

William Floyd

Philip Livingston

Francis Lewis

Lewis Morris

New Jersey

Richard Stockton

John Witherspoon

Francis Hopkinson

John Hart

Abraham Clark

New Hampshire

Josiah Bartlett

William Whipple

Massachusetts

Samuel Adams

John Adams

Robert Treat Paine

Elbridge Gerry

Rhode Island

Stephen Hopkins

William Ellery

Connecticut

Roger Sherman

Samuel Huntington

William Williams

Oliver Wolcott

New Hampshire

Matthew Thornton

The Hermit of Indian Echo Caverns

The legend begins in Chester County, PA in the late 1700’s. John and Elizabeth Wilson, along with their 2 children, William and Elizabeth, lived on a family farm in East or West Bradford Township in Chester County. They had modest means, but were known to be a reputable family. When the children were still young, their mother died and their father remarried. But the new wife did not care for her stepchildren and urged the father to send them away as soon as they were of age.

At 16, William left the farm to become a stone carver in Lancaster County and Elizabeth went to Philadelphia and either became an employee or a patron of the Indian Queen Tavern. In early 1784, Elizabeth was seduced by a tavern guest (who soon afterward disappeared) and became pregnant. When her pregnancy became an embarrassment, she was made to leave the tavern. She returned to her parents’ home where she gave birth to twin sons. Later that year Elizabeth disappeared while traveling to meet her lover in Newton Square. While she reappeared several days later, her twin sons were nowhere to be seen. Their bodies were soon found hidden in the woods nearby and Elizabeth was arrested. She was found guilty of murder in the first degree and was sentenced to hang. The execution date was set for December 7, 1785.

William was unaware of his sister’s predicament but one day he mysteriously claimed he was needed in Chester and returned home. When he arrived at the jail, Elizabeth was finally willing to tell the story of what happened to her sons. William assembled respected officials to listen to her story. She said that her seducer agreed to meet her at Newton Square but unexpectedly met her in the woods about 2 miles west of town. He killed the children and swore Elizabeth to secrecy.

On December 6, William presented the confession signed by all the witnesses to the Supreme Executive Council. The president of the Council was Benjamin Franklin, and its vice president was Charles Biddle. Biddle’s journal includes a brief discussion of the Wilson case and, in addition to court and Council records, is one of the more reputable sources regarding the matter. The Council ordered that the execution be postponed until January 3rd, 1786, in order to allow them more time in which to consider the case.

In the meantime, William went in search of his sister’s lover, but when he found him on a New Jersey farm he denied ever having known Elizabeth. William then began to seek out witnesses who could link the man with the city of Philadelphia and with his sister. He was successful in compiling a list of several people, but he became ill around Christmas and spent some time recuperating at a friend’s home in Philadelphia.

Upon his next visit to the Chester jail, he was horrified to learn that Elizabeth’s execution was scheduled for the following day. He rode to Franklin’s home to request another postponement of Elizabeth’s sentence but had to wait several hours to see him. Franklin felt that it was improper for him to act and referred William to Vice President Biddle. William found Biddle at the State House. Biddle wrote the order, “Do not execute Wilson until you hear further from Council,” knowing that the members of the Executive Council were sympathetic towards Elizabeth and intended to grant a full pardon.

With Biddle’s pardon in hand, William began the 15-mile ride to Chester. He rode down Market Street and approached the Middle Ferry to cross the Schuykill River. Because of heavy rain, the river was dangerously high and choked with ice and debris; the ferry was not in operation. William pleaded with the ferryman for several hours but could not persuade him to operate the ferry. Finally, in desperation, he drove his horse into the icy water. The animal struggled against the current but was struck in the head by a chunk of ice or driftwood just fifty feet from the opposite shore. William swam the rest of the way, and by the time he reached dry land he was approximately 2 miles downstream from where he’d entered the water.

Meanwhile, officials in Chester began preparations for Elizabeth’s execution. The sheriff of Chester was one of the many who had come to believe that Elizabeth was innocent and who, following her confession, suspected that she might be pardoned. He stationed flagmen at intervals along the Queens Highway (4th Street), leading from Philadelphia, who could signal if William were coming with a pardon. Those assembled watched expectantly for a signal but none was seen. Noon arrived, and by law the sheriff could wait no longer. The order was given and the cart was pulled from beneath Elizabeth Wilson’s feet. She did not die outright but showed little sign of struggle. Several long moments passed before the crowd noticed white flags waving along the road from Philadelphia.

William rode to Hangman’s Lot calling, “A pardon! A pardon!” His horse reared at the sight of Elizabeth’s body, throwing him to the muddy ground beneath his sister. The sheriff quickly cut the rope and tried frantically to revive Elizabeth, but it was too late to save her.

After several months in a state of delirium, William returned to work as a stone carver. However, he had lost all interest in society and eventually abandoned it. He began to roam westward across southeastern Pennsylvania, interacting with others only when he needed to negotiate for provisions. In 1802, William came to the place that would be his home for the last nineteen years of his life. The cave (today known as Indian Echo Caverns) where William set up residence is located at the foot of a high bluff, or “palisades,” at the head of a horseshoe bend on the Swatara Creek.

There are many caves in that area, but the Hermit’s cave is particularly large and accessible. The natural entrance is approximately 26 feet wide and was well known to local residents from the earliest times. The “room” that became William’s primary living quarters was over 98 feet inside the cave and around a “corner.” Although natural daylight often reaches that area, particularly late in the day, it is not directly visible from outside. The cave provided shelter and maintained a constant 52 °F temperature. There is a natural ledge, reputed to have been William’s bed, beside which stands a stalagmite that bears marks attributed to the rope ladder used to reach the ledge. William’s possessions were few: a straw mattress, a table and stool, some cooking implements, a Bible and other religious books.

On October 13, 1821, the Harrisburg Intelligencer ran the following notice:

Died lately at his lonely hovel among the hills, twelve miles southeast from Harrisburg, Pa., ——– Wilson, who for many years endeavored to be a solitary recluse from the society of men… His retirement was principally occasioned by the melancholy manner of the death of his sister, by which his reason was partially affected… (He) was observed frequently to be estranged, and one morning was found dead by a few of his neighbors, who had left him the evening previously in good health.

As was the case with his sister, the details and location of William’s burial remain unknown, although it is often assumed that he was buried somewhere on his friend’s farm in Lower Swatara Township.

The Cow Says…

Remember this from your childhood? All the sounds we’d endlessly mimic while driving our parents crazy? Well, those sounds are the basis for today’s game! Fill in the missing blanks with an animal sound.

For example:

Like a meal made in your own kitchen: HOME_ _ _KED

The answer is COO…a pigeon coos.

Can you get them all??

Encouraged S _ _ _ _ ED ON
One who has paid off their mortgage HO_ _ _ _NER
Blended fruit drink S_ _ _THIE
Kitchen zapper MI_ _ _ _AVE
Leave a ship DISEM_ _ _ _
Al Pacino film SC_ _ _ACE
Campfire spiritual song KUM_ _ _A
Not a good try FEE_ _ _ _ _TEMPT
Bozo C_ _ _N
Where you live _ _ _ _ _BORHOOD
Stir-fry ingredient BAMBOO S_ _ _ _
Body liquid art TATTO_ _ _ _
Queue in the mess hall C_ _ _ _INE
Timer _ _ _ _ER

Are you…

Or are you more…

American Pride

The Fourth of July is coming up and there are relatively easy and cheap ways to display your American pride!

Tin Can Windsocks

Save some tin cans and spray paint them blue. Punch 2 holes in the top of the cans and string twine through the holes. Cut a star shape out of plastic lid (cool whip or butter dish) and use that to stencil the white stars. Then add tissue paper or construction paper strips in red and white fastened to the inside of the can.

Paper Chain Railing

Cut some red and blue strips out of construction paper to make chains to fasten on a white fence or deck railing.

Doily Banner

For this banner you’ll need doilies from the Dollar Store, spray paint, modpodge and string or twine. Keep a third of the doilies the original size. Trim another third of the doilies to be the “middle” size and trim the remaining doilies to the smallest size. Paint the largest doilies red, leave the middle size white and paint the smallest ones blue. When they’re dry, cut them in half carefully and modpodge the 3 layers together. When they’re dry, run the string or twine through the doily holes to string the banner up.

Clothespin Wreath

Spray paint clothespins red, white and blue and when dry, clamp them onto a wire wreath. Attach foam stars with glue. Everything but the spray paint can be obtained from the Dollar Tree.

Painted Lawn Stars

Make a cardboard template and use construction marking paint to make stars on your lawn. The idea comes from The Concrete Cottage and listed below are answers to frequently asked questions about this project:

Update: This is now my most viewed post and it’s garnered many questions. I’d like to go ahead and answer the three most asked questions here.
First… This paint is specifically made for using on grass and it will NOT kill the grass. I can personally attest to that fact.
Second… The paint is construction marking paint, it’s intended to be sprayed upside down, and can be found at any home improvement store.
Third… It dries very quickly and is permanent. It only comes off as the grass grows out and you mow it off.

Balloon Flag

Easy idea for a decoration and a game! Pegboard makes this easy to do, but the balloons can be taped to any board or wall you have. (You may not want to use the balloons for darts later on if you are using the side of your house or garage…lol)

The ideas are endless…so let your inner Patriot out and celebrate what’s GREAT about America!!!

Manly Kind of Woman

This story describes a very brief interval which, TBH, I have a hard time recalling. I was hot, sweaty and dirty after hauling sawdust and decided to stop and get a cold beer at the local hangout in Haymarket, VA. In my ragged cut-off overalls, with a tube top underneath, and slip-on Duck boots, I slid onto a stool next to a friend, who had a young friend of his sitting next to him. Hmmmm…..well, one beer became two and…….at some point, the Cougar came to life and I began eying the young, 20-something WV boy named Billy (I was easily twice his age). Well, THIS looked interesting!!!!

One thing led to another, we hit it off and got together a few times for drinking, dancing and bedroom games. The final time I was with Billy was highly illuminating, to say the least. It was a cool night, with light rain – almost a mist – and he came to my house with a bottle of Rum and a 2 liter bottle of Coke. We chatted while we fixed some drinks and moved to the living room, seating outselves on the couch.

From the gitgo, something just seemed off. He sat down in the corner at one end, leaning away from me on the arm of the couch – like he was turned away from me intentionally. We discussed this and that until the conversation turned to dog training. Early on, he informed me that he knew more than I about the subject because he had raised Rottweilers. He insisted that he understood, with his dogs, that once the food was given to them, they were well within their rights to bite even him if he tried to remove it. Uh, no………..that was the beginning of an evening of Billy arguing with EVERYTHING I said!!!!

Fairly early on, I recognized that this was not going to be a long-term relationship and I determined to get what I could out of the evening (some entertaining escapades in the bedroom) and mark it off as the end of that experiment. So I suggested we take a romantic stroll outside, in the rain.

I also decided he needed to meet my wolf-shepherd cross – the one to whom I could give a raw steak bone and easily remove it from her mouth 2 minutes later, with nary a growl. Spirit understood quite clearly that I was the Alpha – not her – she answered to me. The arguing continued…..seriously, it was beyond tiresome!

I finally decided enough chit-chat – let’s do the deed and get this nightmare over with – I was still determined to at least get a good POA out of the deal. We moved into the house and into my bedroom to my California King size waterbed. Ever had sex on a waterbed? Most people don’t have them full enough – mine was filled to the brim and was like a firm regular mattress with minimal sloshing and waves. It had a book-case headboard with a mirror in the center – an added accoutrement that did, indeed, enhance the experience, I must say!

Billy stayed on the side by the door and began disrobing, as I walked to my side and did the same. Naked, I turned towards him and saw him getting into bed still wearing his t-shirt. Nope! That was NOT going to work!!!! So I scooted over next to him and helped him take off his t-shirt, then lay full up against him and began…..um….playing. Touching, kissing…..you know the drill! Expecting a reaction…….nada – none – he might have been dead for all the movement I got out of him!!! Hmmmm…..WTH is going on here????

So I laid on top of him and began moving down his body……..kissing…….caressing…… licking…….still….no reaction whatsoever. Well, dang – did he go to sleep or what??!!?? So….I nipped him on his belly……HOLY CRAP!!! He jumped 2 feet as if I had plugged him in!!! “DON’T YOU EVER DO THAT AGAIN!!!!! I don’t EVER want to feel your teeth on me again!!!!” OK, now I’m really confused!!!!

What in the hell did he want???? I laid back down on my side of the bed, trying to figure out whether this was even worth it!!!! He said to me, “What the hell are you doing?” and I replied, “Trying to figure out what the hell you want!!!!” “I want you to finish what you started!!!!!” Yeah, ok, that is NOT going to work with ME!!!! Me being me, I proceeded to berate him for his attitude, explaining explicitly that I was NOT his slave and he had to actively participate on an equal basis. Oh, my! That was way too much for poor Billy! He jumped out of bed, grabbed his clothes and spouted, “I’m getting out of here!!! You’re too manly for me!!!!”

Well, of course, I erupted in raucous laughter, rolling out of bed onto the floor! He forgot his undies, literally ran out of the bedroom, grabbed his bottle of rum, leaving his jacket, and hit the door, never pausing stride! He flew up the driveway, spitting gravel every step of the way!!!!

Gee, did I have fun recounting THAT at the local hang out, where poor Billy never showed his face again!!!!! Ok, everyone – come on – let’s hear about some of YOUR romantic encounters!!!! Show and tell time – fair is fair, after all!!!!

31 Squared

Thirty one years ago, when I was 31 myself, I married the most wonderful man! We had a whirlwind courtship, engaged after just 10 weeks. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

They say true romance never runs smooth, and they are right! The night of the proposal, I had an evening college class. My future husband dropped by just after supper and asked if he could talk with me on the porch. I went out and he said he needed to use the bathroom and would be right out. When he finally came out, he looked really nervous. He began by saying how different we were, how we came at life from different perspectives, and how we were pretty set in our ways.

I was sure he was breaking up with me and began to cry. I told him I needed to get to class and we could break up AFTER my class. He grabbed my arm and whirled me around and said, I want to marry you! I just asked your Dad and he gave me his blessing. Say yes!

I did say yes, and we started to plan a June wedding…we had only met in July, and here we were planning to be married in June! I was beyond happy! But I was also in my final year of college–working full time and raising my son alone. I was BUSY! When I first began evening college, I promised my son I would take him to Florida after I graduated–a promise he reminded me of constantly. And a promise is a promise!

By the time May rolled around, the wedding details were finalized, the vacation I promised my son was booked and I had made significant progress on my wedding gown (did I forget to mention I was also making my own gown? LOL) and I was studying for finals.

I thought I was going to pull this all off! I took my finals…aced them all! I graduated suma cum laude and a Phi Beta Kappa. (One thing crossed off my to-do list!) The day after graduation, my son and I departed for Florida. We spent a fun week in Florida–seeing Disney World, Sea World and everything else on his little list. (Second thing crossed off my list!)

The week after we got home from vacation, disaster struck. I got pneumonia. I continued to work and stress about the wedding details, but put finishing the dress on hold. I just didn’t have the strength. At this point, my future husband’s ex-wife decided she HAD to meet me, approve of me and decide whether or not I would be an “appropriate” addition to her daughter’s life. She was met with staunch silence. She then threatened to take my future husband to family court to change the custody agreement if he didn’t agree and he said have your lawyer call mine. After she made that phonecall and found there was nothing she could do to compel me to meet with her, she threatened to come to the church and ruin the wedding. Hubby enlisted additional family members to stand watch at the church and remove her if she showed up.

When our wedding day arrived, the gown was ready, the “guards” were ready and the day was HOT. The bridal cars were being decorated in my family’s driveway, when a limo pulled up. One of my hubby’s groomsmen worked at a rental place, and as a surprise, rented us the limo. Although it was a nice gesture, he had to be the one to drive it–which displaced the entire bridal procession. My brother who was to drive us in my Dad’s new car now had no job. And the bridesmaid who was supposed to be in the same car as the limo bringing groomsman had no one to ride in the car with her. Sigh…but we rolled on anyway.

The wedding itself went off without a hitch…the ex never showed her face. Afterwards we went to the Rose Gardens to take pictures before the reception. After enduring a half hour in the hot June sun posing among the flowers, I was looking forward to an air conditioned ride to the reception hall. The heat in the limo was stifling–and hubby asked the driver to blast the air conditioning in the back. He said…I AM. sigh…the air conditioning was NOT working in the back. I passed out.

I awoke to a large glass of water being thrown (yes, you read that correctly–THROWN) in my face. They drove to my parents’ house, got a large glass of water and threw it in my face. My hair, my make up and my dress were soaked. When I opened my eyes, my hubby and the driver looked pleased with themselves that they got me awake. I was livid. I wanted to go into the house and fix my hair and my make up and try to dry my dress…I was told there wasn’t time. The guests were waiting for us at the reception hall.

I managed to fix my face a little and off we went to the reception. As the bridal party entered the hall, the dj announced their names flawlessly. When he got to ours, he said…please welcome, for the first time…Mr. (hubby) and Patrick Frederick. Sigh…

Happy Anniversary Honey!!!

What Shall We Bake Today?

Today’s recipe came to me some 40 years ago when I worked in a small factory with a group of Portuguese women. They brought this sponge cake for all the parties we had and it always went so fast! It only takes 4 ingredients and is fairly easy. The only drawback is beating the egg whites till stiff peaks form. (If you have a stand mixer, you can ignore that last remark…lol)

Portuguese Sponge Cake

12 eggs separated

2 cups of sugar

1 1/2 cups flour

1 tsp baking powder

Preheat the oven to 350*. Grease an angelfood cake pan using 1/2 tablespoon butter or margarine. After the pan is greased, coat the pan with granulated sugar. This butter/sugar coating gives the sponge cake an excellent crust. DO NOT use a bundt pan!

In a large bowl, cream the egg yolks with the sugar. Add the flour and the baking powder. In a separate large bowl, beat the egg whites on high until stiff peaks form.

Gently fold the egg whites into the first mixture, folding until the 2 mixtures are combined. Spoon into the prepared angelfood pan.

Bake for 45 minutes.

After removal from the oven, invert the cake on a bottle or covered upside funnel as you do regular angelfood cakes.

Enjoy!!

NATURAL CHILDBIRTH – Part 2: Home Birth

Thankfully, we were able to get the military to agree to pay for a home birth. I doubt if that would happen today. Family Birth Associates helped us organize everything. They introduced us to our midwife, who insisted I participate in Lamaze classes, which teach you how to breathe during each stage of labor, among other things. If the Father is available, they are also required to take the classes to learn the proper way to support the Mother. She gave me the name and number of an RN who conducted the classes and would help supervise the birth.

We attended the class every week and she routinely took blood tests – when I was low on iron, she directed me to eat liver and raisins, and I began taking FemIron. I made it to the last critical class before going into labor.

We had everything arranged – our closest friends, Rick and Linda, agreed to come and help direct things and support us. We brought in a hospital bed and set up speakers to play our favorite music. IIRC, it was “Jonathan Seagull.”

My midwife kept calling me to say, “Listen, I’ve got someone who is trying to get their Midwife license and they need to witness a live birth. Can they come for the birth?” Hospitals prevented anyone but the husband from being present and they do NOT like midwives! One of them was a Jesuit priest! We had ten people coming, in addition to the midwife and the RN.

The Wednesday following the last critical class, I woke up early in the morning to find my water had broken. We immediately called the RN and midwife, as well as the Jesuit priest, who had requested a call. As the day went on, my labor would start and stop, start and stop. We tried everything – herbal teas, an enema, a warm bath, jogging, running up and down the stairs. At one point, she even told us “You know, an orgasm wouldn’t hurt! No penetration, tho!” and sent us upstairs.

Nope – that didn’t work either. About 7 pm, they were listening to her heartbeat through a contraction and heard it dip, which indicated the cord was around her neck – my labor would probably never progress. During a contraction, pressure was exerted on the umbilical cord. This caused her body to secrete adrenalin, which then signalled MY body to stop the contractions. She left it up to us on the decision to go to the hospital or not.

We conferred and decided it was not worth endangering our baby’s life, but we did NOT want to go to WR. The hospital at Andrews Air Force Base was the only military hospital in the area that had a Midwifery Program, and my midwife happened to know the female Colonel Director……and she just so happened to be on duty that night.

She called and arranged it for us and off we went to Andrews. At that time, they had begun using internal monitors – they literally screw it into the babie’s scalp!!!! Since my water had already broken, they wanted to do that and we said absolutely NOT!!!! They also wanted to shave me – nope, not happening! The word went out all through the hospital that this crazy couple had tried to have their baby at home. Horrors!!! “It’s not done!”

They fitted me with an external monitor across my belly but Heather kept moving so they had a hard time tracking her heartbeat. They tried again to talk me into an internal monitor so the attendant didn’t have to stay at my bedside every minute. My reply? “Tough shit – just do your damned job!!!”

They hit me up with a very high dose of pitocin, a synthetic oxytocin, which triggers the contractions. Due to that high dose, when Heather started coming, it was FAST. They wanted to cut me so I didn’t rip or tear – I said no but my hubby freaked and I was too tired to fight it. He said they used what looked like a tree lopper! That was NOT a pleasant sound, let me tell you! It was a very loud “POP!” I had no pain killers whatsoever throughout and did not even feel it when they cut me. The cord was, indeed, wrapped around her neck so as soon as her head came through, they cut the cord.

Heather was finally born around 1:30 in the morning and, altho we both ran a low fever for a time, all was well. She was tiny – 5 lbs 6 oz – but otherwise healthy. She was 5 lbs 1 oz when we took her home and was the ONLY baby in the nursery who was not jaundiced (caused by bilirubens).

I was in the hospital until Friday; when I left, I wore my regular jeans – that extra 30 lbs? Gone! The following Sunday, we took her with us to the Lamaze class and everyone oohed and aahed. Five days old:

I bathed her myself for the most part until one day my hubby wanted to do it. The idiot took a soaked washcloth and plopped in on the top of her head – of course, the water poured down her face and scared her to death! I refrained from hitting him, miraculously! I began a campaign to rid her of that fear by bringing her into the bath tub with me. Peaceful and unfraid, enjoying the sensation of floating! I succeeded – she was never scared of water again!!!