
Today is Jeff Foxworthy’s birthday, born in 1958, and I found an article listing his best (top 30) You Might Be a Redneck sayings.
From RWRANT.CO.ZA:
This post contains 30 of the best “You Might Be a Redneck” Quotes from Jeff Foxworthy:
1. “If you’ve ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.”
2. “You may be a redneck if . . . your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.”
3. “If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.”
4. “You may be a redneck if . . . you think you are an entrepreneur because of the “Dirt for Sale” sign in the front yard.”
5. “You might be a redneck if …the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.”
6. “Do you know why it’s so hard to solve a Redneck murder? Because the DNA’s all the same and there’s no dental records.”
7. “If you ever cut your grass and found a car, you might be a redneck.”
8. “If you think the stock market has a fence around it, you might be a redneck.”
9. “If your wife has ever said ‘Come move this transmission so I can take a bath.’, you might be a redneck”
10. “If your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat, you might be a redneck”

11. “If you’ve ever financed a tattoo, you might be a redneck.”
12. “If the gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot, you might be a redneck.”
13. “If you think a turtleneck is key ingredient for soup, you might be a redneck.”
14. “If someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle, you might be a redneck.”
15. “If your dog and your wallet are both on a chain, you might be a redneck.”
16, “If your wife’s hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.”
17. “If you bought a VCR because wrestling comes on while you’re at work, you might be a redneck.”
18. “If your dad walks you to school because you’re in the same grade, you might be a redneck.”
19. “If your mother doesn’t remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass, you might be a redneck.”

20. “If your only condiment on the dining room table is the economy size bottle of ketchup, you might be a redneck.”
21. “If you think ‘loading the dishwasher’ means ‘getting your wife drunk’, you might be a redneck.”
22. “If birds are attracted to your beard, you might be a redneck.”
23. “If you’ve ever been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog, you might be a redneck.”
24. “If you think the French Riviera is foreign car, you might be a redneck.”
25. “If you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass, you might be a redneck.”
26. “You may be a redneck if… you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.”
27. “If you ever got too drunk to fish, you might be a redneck.”
28. “If you stand under the misteletoe at Christmas and wait for Granny and cousin Bobby-Sue Ellen to walk by, you might be a redneck.”
29. “If you think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader, you might be a redneck.”
30. “If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.”

SOURCE: RWRANT.CO.ZA
Happy Birthday Jeff!






























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