Today is Jeff Dunham’s birthday.  Born in 1962, Jeff is a very talented ventriloquist who has traveled all over the world with his puppets!

In honor of Walmart founder Sam Walton’s birthday (born March 29, 1918, died April 5, 1992) I present more images from Walmart.  Brace yourselves!

Hooves

Hanging Pockets

A Customer & His Doll

Display Headphones (Gross!)

Fashion

Werther’s

Ahhhh…???

Just…WHY??

Foul Hair

Handcuffs?

Dogs Out

Pets

Photoshoot?

WTH???

More Pets

UM…What?

More Carts

Sure, Why Not?

Prick of the Year Award

People Watchers

Customer of Year

SOURCE: KNOWYOURMEME.COM

SIGH…

From GOODHOUSEKEEPING.COM:

More Card Games

Wait…a Card?

More Dinosaur Stuff

Harvey the Heart Had Too Many Farts…REALLY?

ANOTHER Card?

Toilet Paper

Vouchers

Carnivore Jerky Bouquet

Life Would Succ Without You Succulent

Hmmmm…Best Friends Coloring Book

Irritating Coffee Mug

Glitter Heart TOILET BOMBS

Hot Buns Potholder

Edible Cellphone

Love Oracles Cards

SOURCE: GOODHOUSEKEEPING.COM

Now this?  This is funny…LOL

Happy Valentine’s Day!

February is a very romantic month. Florists and jewelers do their best to get men caught up in the moment—maybe leading to some beautiful, some unusual and some downright stupid proposals. The following are some excerpts from an article on ELITEDAILY.COM.   Some made me laugh, most made me shake my head and a few made me wonder who raised these guys.

From: ELITEDAILY.COM:

Bad Food Proposals

My best friend just got engaged and when her SO proposed they were in a little french deli. She had just put a massive mouthful of pie in her face when she saw he had got down on one knee. She was so shocked she spat the pie out all over herself, all over him, all over everything. She just sort of nodded … it was very like her to do something like that so it’s all fine but still … I don’t think he was expecting pie in his face.

I knew a guy who was at McDonalds with his girlfriend one time, and as a joke he wrapped a fry around her finger and said, “Will you McMarry me?” She started crying and called her mom and like started planning the wedding the next day. He hadn’t meant to propose but he didn’t have the heart to tell her so, so he just married her.

Bait & Switch

Saw a couple in a jewelry store when my wife and I were looking. Guy asks to see a ring, kneels, “will you marry me?”. She flips….ohmygod!ohmygod!ohmygod!ohmygod! yes yes yes!! He says “great!” then hands the ring back to the employee and tries to leave the store. He proposed with a borrowed ring. Tries to explain to the girl he couldn’t afford the ring but wanted to propose correctly. She slaps him so hard my face hurt (she put her whole body into the slap) and starts screaming about how her mother was right, etc. etc. No clue if they ever got together, but it was hard to watch.

Charming

My dad stuck the ring in a stick of deodorant, then told my mom she needed to use it. Small argument ensues when mom tells dad she does not need it.

Awkward

Pilot here. Guy asks me to fly him and his SO over a field, where 150 people had formed a heart and two rings. Huge show, I was really impressed. When she saw it, her response was: “Look at all those idiots! How ridiculous is that??” He did not ask his question that day.

I proposed on a dinner cruise and told her I was gonna throw her overboard if she said no. The couple next to us interrupted to ask if she needed help.

This will never be seen, but it’s too good not to mention. My friend’s girlfriend knew he had purchased a ring, and could not have been more excited about it. So when he told her to dress up nice, because he was taking her out for a fancy dinner, she was over the moon. All through the meal, she sat giddily on the edge of her seat. They had appetizers, dinner, dessert, and then… got back in the car to go home. Finally, she said, “What’s going on? Why aren’t aren’t you proposing?”

He apologized, and said he planned to, but the ring hadn’t gotten re-sized yet. She was crushed. Fast-forward a couple of hours, and they were lying in bed at the end of the night. My friend turned to his lady and said, “You should touch my penis.”

“No,” she said. “I’ve had a really disappointing night, and I don’t exactly feel sexy.”

“You should touch my penis.”

“No! You’re drunk, it’ll take forever!”

“You should touch my penis.”

“FINE!”

The ring was under his balls.

And to think, you believed romance was dead.

SOURCE: ELITEDAILY.COM

Sometimes you just don’t feel romantic just because it’s the middle of February.  For those people—and I am one of them—here’s a list of funny Valentine’s Day gifts to make that someone special in your life laugh.  (And to me?  A guy who can make me laugh, IS sexy and romantic!)

From GOODHOUSEKEEPING.COM:

Hubby Tumbler

Valentine’s Fork

Flip Decision Coin

Gnomes

Dinosaur in a Glass

Beard T-Shirt

Whiskey Glass

Candle

Golden Girls Roses

Romance Game

Socks

Beer Greeting Card Box

Video Game T-Shirt

Keychain

More Socks

SOURCE: GOODHOUSEKEEPING.COM

We all love to hate Walmart, but they have some…uh…unusual products and gifts you can’t find anywhere else.  I found this particular list at Reader’s Digest.

From Reader’s Digest:

Sometimes your baking creations look like crap, but this time it’ll be on purpose! Your kids will love these whimsical—and completely icky—poop emoji silicone molds, which can be used for cake, candy, ice cream, and more. The very thought of poop-shaped food might make you cringe, but at least the pan is well-made: It’s heat-resistant up to 500 degrees and also dishwasher safe. Do you truly need a poop-emoji cake pan? It’s debatable (to some people).

Pickle-Ice Freeze Pops

Move over, strawberry and grape—there’s new ice-pop flavor in town. These pickle-flavored freeze pops from Van Holten’s are supposedly good for athletes since they have added electrolytes. We’ve also heard they’re really good for hangovers. (Just saying…)

Shark Boxers

These “bite me” shark boxers are really funny…in a biting way. Perfect for any guy on a birthday or holiday, these undies will keep him laughing all year long.

Huggle Socks

Are they socks? Are they slippers? Who cares—they’re amazing! With a cable-knit exterior and a super soft fleecy interior, these socks will keep you warm and cozy on even the coldest nights. Plus, they have silicone grips on the soles, so you won’t slip and slide around your house.

Golden Garden

The girls have been immortalized! Sophia and the gang can hang in your kitchen and show off their wild, ever-growing “hair.” If you want to adorn your home with more pop-culture icons, Chia also offers Dustin from Stranger Things and the always-adorable Baby Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy.

Pink Animal Slippers

Why bother with regular old slippers when you can get fierce with a pair of pink, fluffy, ginormous animal slippers? They’re unisex, and they come in 11 styles—including traditional tiger, grizzly bear, and dinosaur—and a variety of sizes, so your whole pack can enjoy!

GoGo Pillow

We’re not sure why you need a pink leopard travel pillow that doubles as an iPad holder, but maybe we’re just not using our imaginations. This multitasking product is apparently good for at home or on the gogo, and you can plug in your headphones and kick back jungle-style.

Microwave Bacon Cooker

Think you know how to make bacon? Think again. Let us introduce you to the Bacon Wave, a microwave bacon tray that promises to cook your pork to crispy, juicy perfection. If that wasn’t all, this magical bacon holder cuts down on grease and calories, so you can pig out to your heart’s content.

Pink Octopus Coffee Mug

There’s so much to say about this bright pink octopus mug but so little time! After all, nothing says “good morning” like a tentacled, bright-eyed cephalopod filled with caffeine. Perhaps it’s just the pure shock of seeing the squid that helps wake you up. Whatever it takes, my friend, whatever it takes.

Aztec Secret Indian Healing Clay

This throwback beauty product has been around for decades and launched sometime in the ’80s. The packaging still looks from that era, but that might be part of its charm. Celebs and influencers, including Mindy Kaling, have shouted out love for this product, dubbed the “world’s most powerful facial.”

Beacon of Light Cremation Urn

So apparently, Walmart carries a whole line of caskets and urns. Who knew? The collection is reasonably priced, in true Walmart fashion, and we are really feeling this Beacon of Light cremation urn, which features a dreamy lighthouse set against a colorful sunset. We’ll pay our last respects by saying, “Groovy, man.”

Animal-Shaped Flower Pot

We don’t know why, but these animal-shaped flower pots just crack us up. From a snoozing polar bear to a playful panda to a funky chicken, these succulent flowerpots made from resin are sure to bring cheer to any room or office.

Dog Nail Polish

Pooches often get treated like royalty, but this kind of takes the doghouse. This puppy nail polish from Fancy Finish comes in 20 dynamic doggy colors like Poodle Pink and Shimmer Champagne, and it promises to be “paw safe.”

Pain in the Butt Diaper Rash Cream

Ouch! This diaper-rash cream has the BEST.NAME.EVER. Pediatrician-approved and made with all-natural ingredients like aloe and tea tree, this protective butt cream will help baby stay dry—and hopefully make mama laugh as she tries to get through her day. Even better? You might be able to borrow this diaper cream for yourself for a completely unrelated use.

Funny Graphic T-Shirt

This shirt is just saying what we’re thinking, right? It’s perfect for the gym, or better yet, for those days you skip your workout. Plus, it comes in eight colors, so you have lots of ways and styles to get your lazy point across. This shirt will make you laugh—and that’s a good thing.

Biker Gnomes

People have populated their backyards with garden gnomes for centuries. Many cite Germany as the inventor of the gartenzwerge —or “garden dwarf”—since it’s a country with a rich, mystical forest culture of trolls, gnomes, fairies, and the like. This modern biker version from Walmart might not quite be what the early gnome creators had in mind. But hey, to each his gnome! This could be the perfect housewarming gift for the right person.

SOURCE: READER’S DIGEST