Continuing People’s parade of ugly bridesmaid dresses.
5 The Scarlett O’Hara
As God as her witness, she’ll never wear this dress again! We do declare our deepest sympathies for Providence, R.I., bridesmaid Jennifer, who was forced into crimson fabric with bows from here to the Mason-Dixon line. As Jennifer says, it’s “the worst thing that ever happened to me.” True, but remember Jennifer, tomorrow is another day!
4 The Cotton Candy Explosion
Bridesmaid Sammi was not tickled by the dress she wore to her sister’s wedding. “My sister is obsessed with pink and had a ‘pink’ wedding,” the Elmhurst, N.Y., resident writes. “Pink wedding dress, pink shoes, pink ties, pink center pieces.” The pièce de résistance? “This awful pink bridesmaid dress!” But like a good sister, Sammi held her tongue. “Since she loved the dress and we all love her, we happily donned this dress for her big day.”
3 The Little Mermaid
Yep, this has doubled as a Halloween costume. As bridesmaid Maggie tells us, she won second place in a costume contest for this dress she was forced to wear in an ’80s-themed wedding. “My sister has always been a big fan of the ’80s – sequins, big hair, gaudiness,” the Toledo, Ohio, native tells PEOPLE.com. “She actually found shoes, purses, jewelry, and nail polish to match this thing.”
2 The Real Wedding Shower
“The bride’s mother insisted on these horrendous iridescent blue monstrosities,” says Jennifer, a bridesmaid out of Meridian, Idaho. “The bows, the lace and the fabric itched like crazy.” But these maids didn’t have to just wear the dresses – they also had to perform! “We had to walk down the aisle with [the parasols] open and then when we got to the altar, we had to do a little choreographed move to close them.” You know what they say: When it rains, it pours!
1 The Kitchen Curtain
“I would love to see the dress that can beat this one,” writes Ginger of the flowered, curtain-style frock she wore as a junior bridesmaid in her aunt’s wedding. Although some came close, this bow-tied number was the clear winner. “There were actually adult women that had to wear the same dress, and I was mortified at the age of 12! I love my aunt dearly, and it may have been the early nineties, but this kind of dress was never in style.”
Every bride wants all the attention on her wedding day and works very hard to be the most beautiful bride she can. But some women find there’s an easier way to make the bride the star…and that’s to make the bridesmaids pale in comparison. One way to ensure that is UGLY bridesmaid dresses…lol People had an article showcasing 10 of the worst bridesmaid dresses…take a look.
10 The Repeat Offender
Does this gown look familiar to you? “A lot of women over 40 told me they had one just like it,” Buffalo, Minn., bridesmaid Joanne wrote in to PEOPLE. We’ve definitely seen similar versions of the same dress. They’re all shiny, puffy – and despised. “I almost dropped out [of the wedding], that’s how much I hated this dress,” says Joanne. “I came to my senses and, of course, stuck with it for my best friend!”
9 The Tablecloth
Christine now admits that her flower-power wedding was more hippie chick than hippie chic: “I can’t believe, when I look at this picture now, what I was thinking!” the Moorpark, Calif., bride tells us of her 1976 nuptials. “I wanted a simple old-fashioned wedding, and I thought the fabric looked old-fashioned. My bridesmaids hated the material and tried to talk me out of it – but my mind was set.”
8 The Rainbow Connection
“The actual dresses aren’t really the problem here,” admits Amber of her cousin’s 1973 wedding. “Instead of picking one color for her bridesmaids, [the bride] decided to have a ‘rainbow’ wedding.” Although the wedding party looked like a package of Skittles, the Madison, Tenn., native admits that an the bridesmaids’ hats were an even bigger eyesore. “It was an indoor wedding, but the bride wanted head gear.”
7 The Pajama Game
Ah, the ’70s. When disco reigned, love was free and brides dressed their wedding party in pajamas. “I found this picture of my mother’s wedding,” writes Theresa from Rochester, N.Y., of the little blue flowers and tiny bows that overwhelmed her mom’s friends at her 1975 wedding.
6 The Foil Folly
“This was a big wedding.” recalls bridesmaid Janell – and she’s not even talking about the gigantic gold gowns worn by the bridesmaids! “Eight attendants each, and all the girls in gold!” Says the White Bear Lake, Minn., native of the frilly foil frock, “These were really shiny, extremely itchy and hot.”
Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers out there who had kids like me. I never bought the tie or regular gift—I looked for something to make Dad laugh (cuz he always made me laugh).
To finish off “wedding month”, I thought I’d share some suggestions I found for humorous wedding toasts. If you’re going to make a toast, perhaps one of these will inspire you!
Funny Wedding Toast Ideas
Regardless of your role in the newlyweds’ big day, these one-liners and well-wishes are sure to garner some laughs.
“May your children be blessed with rich parents.”
“Let’s raise our glasses to the two secrets of a long-lasting marriage: a good sense of humor and a short memory.”
“May all of your ups and downs be only in the bedroom.”
“Our happy couple really struggled to find someone to give a speech today. They asked their most attractive friend first, and they said no. Then they asked their smartest friend, who also said no. After that, they went to their funniest friend, and the answer was still no. So then they asked me, and I couldn’t turn them down for a fourth time!”
“May you both live as long as you want, and never want as long as you live.”
“May you never lie, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie with each other. And if you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink with us. Cheers to the newlyweds!”
“Saying ‘I do’ at your wedding is like clicking the ‘I accept’ box any time a new piece of software on your computer or phone asks you to read its terms and conditions: You do it despite having no idea what will come next. Congratulations on your marriage!”
“Let me leave you with one piece of advice. Never laugh at your spouse’s choices. Remember: They also chose you. Cheers!”
“May the most you wish for be the least you get.”
If those anonymous toasts didn’t inspire you, perhaps some advice from famous folks will!
“The secret to a good marriage is to be a little deaf.” — Ruth Bader Ginsburg
“Marriage is not just spiritual communion. It is also remembering to take out the trash.” — Dr. Joyce Brothers
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” — Charles Schulz
“Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There’s too much fraternizing with the enemy.” — Henry Kissinger
“To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.” — Ogden Nash
“For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end.” — Catherine Zeta-Jones
“If you’re wrong and you shut up, you’re wise. If you’re right and you shut up, you’re married.” — Unknown
“Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.” — Unknown
“If at first you don’t succeed…try doing it the way your wife told you.” — Unknown
“The secret to a happy marriage remains a secret.” — Henny Youngman
“A man is incomplete until he’s married. After that, he’s finished.” — Zsa Zsa Gabor
“Love is sharing your popcorn.” — Charles Schultz
“Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.” — George Burns
“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times—always with the same person.” — Mignon McLaughlin
June is a BIG month for weddings! If you’ve got one coming up and you’re not sure what to buy the happy couple as a wedding gift…this article I found on People.com can help! …with what NOT to buy!
From People:
A recent bride is seeking community after receiving an “extremely odd” wedding gift.
The Redditor took to the platform’s “Wedding Shaming” forum after one of her oldest friends gifted her and her partner “surprise vinyl toys” for their big day — despite her never having expressed interest in the collectible figures.
To make the gesture even more peculiar, the poster said that she “didn’t ask for gifts” and simply requested their friends’ “presence as it was a small party and we were well aware that our guests were required to take time off to be with us.”
“It just felt extremely odd and not an appropriate wedding gift,” she added of the toy, clarifying that it wasn’t even the popular Labubu doll that has taken over the internet.
While the bride ultimately brushed off the odd encounter and planned to re-gift the toys to her young nieces, she asked other recent brides in the thread if they’d had similar experiences with unconventional gifts. She was not disappointed with the responses.
In the comments, Redditors recounted their experiences receiving everything from a handful of tomatoes to a pair of scissors, ill-fitting bed sheets, a dirty banana stand, and even a piece of dried coral that someone had spray painted turquoise.
One user in particular said that their mother-in-law’s friend had gifted them a bag of junk to celebrate the couple’s nuptials.
“Among the refuse we got: a dingy old jewelry box covered in crayon scribbles, one chipped bowl, a fake Amber necklace with beads the size of chestnuts, and stained pillow covers,” the user wrote.
In another case, one newlywed had her best friend, who was also in her wedding party, gift her a “weird pewter butterfly wine stopper” — even though the bride doesn’t drink alcohol. And while she was “perplexed” upon unwrapping the accessory, she never brought it up again.
“One of my co-workers gave me a word processing program on a Zip drive and several books related to our field. I’m pretty sure mine was the only wedding he’s ever been to. It was strange, but also very endearing!”
One bride recalled receiving a “hideous chunky chrome frame that still had a piece of the previous bridal gift wrap attached to it and a set of four coffee mugs with apples on them that had a to: from: card inside. Yes the gift giver was the original to:. If you’re going to re-gift at least be sly about it.”
For others, however, a gift that seemed ridiculous at first soon became something they reached for quite often.
As another user explained, “I had an aunt gift us the brightest colored handmade bowl cushions. You set your hot bowl of soup in them so you can carry it. They go with nothing that we own and are an absolute eyesore. We use them frequently.”
This is the time of year, we think about honoring our mothers, and yet how many of us simply don’t know what to buy? You could go the safe, but uninspired route of a gift card or—gasp! cash, or you might consider one of these gifts!
that’s right, you’re Mom’s favorite—rub it in!
time to RUN!
look at the bright side!
he’s still got it!
but it’s not a contest!
not sure about this one…won’t it dilute the wine? (shower wine holder)
I found funny tax jokes to soothe the irritation of this day…I hope!
Trying to date women is a lot like paying taxes in the U.S. They both know what needs to be done and could tell you but instead you’re the one who needs to figure it out.
Do you know how you can tell Monopoly’s an old game? It has a luxury tax, and rich people can actually go to jail.
Why are Sherlock Holmes’ taxes so low? He’s a master of deduction.
Did you hear that the government denied tax exemption for a church that believes Jesus spoke with a lisp? It was a real slap in the faith.
Has anyone realized “The IRS”. Spells “theirs”?!
A gambler gets a notice from the IRS that he’s being audited. The gambler calls his tax attorney and they go to see the IRS agent. As they are waiting in the office, the agent looks over his paperwork and says: “The reason for your audit is that you live such a lavish lifestyle, yet not much income to justify it. Can you tell me what you do for a living?” The gambler says, “I’m a professional gambler.” “A gambler?” asks the agent. “Yes, I make money from bets. Let me demonstrate. I bet you $1,000 that I can bite my eye.” “You have a bet!” the agent has a smug smile on his face. But it vanishes when the gambler takes out his glass eye and bites it. The agent did not see that coming, but he did agree to $1,000 in front of the gambler’s attorney. “Fine, that wasn’t fair,” says the gambler. “I’ll give you a chance to win your money back by betting another $1,000 that I can bite my other eye.” The agent looks through the guy’s paperwork and sees he’s not legally blind, so he takes the bet. To his horror, the gambler takes out his dentures and bites his other eye. Now he’s on the hook for $2,000. “You know what,” says the gambler, “Double or nothing; I’ll stand on the edge of your desk, close my eyes, piss into the garbage can on the other side of the room without spilling a drop. What do you say?” Perplexed but desperate, the agent agrees. The gambler stands on the desk, unzips his pants, closes his eyes, then pisses all over the agent’s desk. “YES!!!” exclaims the agent, glad he won’t owe the gambler anything. “Ah, shit.” sighs the attorney. “What’s the matter?” asks the agent. “Well… He bet me $20,000 that he’d come into your office today, piss all over your desk, and you’d be happy about it.”
Did you hear that the atheists are trying to get tax-exempt status now? They are a non-prophet organization.
How do stoner couples file their taxes? Jointly!
At the end of the tax year, the Taxation Office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital. While the agent was checking the books, he turned to the executive of the hospital and said, “I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when there’s too little left to be of any use?” “Good question,” noted the executive. “We save them up and send them back to the bandage company, and every once in a while, they send us a free roll.” “Oh,” replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way. ”What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what’s left over after setting a cast on a patient?” “Ah, yes,” replied the executive, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. “We save it and send it back to the manufacturer and every so often they send us a free bag of plaster.” “I see,” replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all executive. “Well, what do you do with all the remains from the circumcision surgeries?” “Here, too, we do not waste,” answered the executive. “What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the tax office, and about once a year they send us a complete prick.”
A teen boy is buying a pack of condoms for the first time… He sees the price is $10, but when he goes to pay it the register rings it up as $10.65. “What’s this 65 cents about?” He asks. The cashier says, “It’s for the tax.” “Ah. I was wondering how you keep these things on.”
Don’t get in line behind Lucifer at the tax office! The devil takes many forms.
A woman walks into an accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask you a few questions.” He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, “What’s your occupation?” “I’m a prostitute,” she says. The accountant is somewhat taken aback and says, ” Let’s try to rephrase that.” The woman says, “OK, I’m a high-end call girl”. “No, that still won’t work. Try again.” They both think for a minute; then the woman says, “I’m an elite chicken farmer.” The accountant asks, “What does chicken farming have to do with being a prostitute?” “Well, I raised a thousand cocks last year.” “Chicken Farmer it is.”
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Sew Colorful 