Okay, OUR pond monster wasn’t quite this glorious or famous…but what an adventure!

We begin the tale on an average evening in April here in the Pennsylvania mountains, where an…ah…older couple have just finished their dinner and are doing the dishes, looking out at their quaint little pond.

Suddenly my husband notices a “black spot” on the pond and points…”What’s that, do you think?” I respond that i haven’t a clue. Since it was getting darker and there are no lights out near the pond and, of course, we wanna veg for the evening, we agree it’s nothing. Watching Third Rock from the Sun on dvd, laughing about aliens from another planet, makes us forget all about whatever is IN the pond.

In the morning, we continue our daily lives as though nothing happened the night before-no mysterious sighting in the pond. I do laundry, have coffee, peruse my favorite websites. Hubby gets his coffee and heads to his home office to begin his day.

I start to do the breakfast dishes and notice it’s raining…and my gaze wanders to the pond…the THING is still there…IN THE SAME SPOT. In our little pond, we have 2 outfall pipes to keep the water level as consistent as possible (droughts notwithstanding). Water enters the pond from the left (from my vantage point) via a waterfall and the outfall pipes are directly across the pond to the right. The THING in the pond is in the direct path of the incoming water but is NOT being drawn to the outfall pipes!

All at once, the rain becomes heavier…and as i watch, the THING in the pond moves! Not toward the pipes, but towards me! Well okay, it’s still in the water but it’s moving towards the pond’s edge. I call out to hubby that I’m going to investigate!! He laughs–imagine–he laughs! “It’s probably dirt or leaves or something.” I grab the binoculars and I see 2 white spots on the black THING–I yell–“IT’S GOT EYES!!!!!”

I yank on my rain slicker, grab the rolling pin (the handiest weapon I have in the kitchen) and storm out!

I hear hubby laughing behind me as I charge the pond, determined to see what has invaded us! As we near the water’s edge, I can see it has moved even closer and I raise my rolling pin, almost clubbing hubby who now is as intrigued as I about IT. It’s turning in the water…this is just not dirt! Although there appeared to be twigs and leaves entwined together…there is something steering the small dark mass…it turns…and turns… and then we get a look at the driver…

A frog…the biggest darn frog I’ve seen to date around here…but just a frog.

Well, that’s what counts as an adventure around these parts.

In honor of the holiday named for politicians (April Fools, I made that up), I am proposing a simple game. Try to determine which of the following statements are true or made up. Sounds simple, right? Ready?

1. The original London Bridge is currently in Arizona.

2. You can purchase alien abduction insurance in Florida.

3. KFC produced edible nail polish in Hong Kong in the flavors Original and Hot & Spicy.

4. There’s a church–The United Church of Bacon–whose mission statement is “Hail Piggy, full of grease, the Lard is with thee.”

5. There was a program in NYC & Washington,DC called Joints for Jabs which provided a rolled joint upon proof of vaccination.

So what do you think? Got these figured out?

Take your time…I can wait…

Okay…here we go…

1. The original London Bridge IS in Arizona.

Where is the London Bridge in Arizona? The London Bridge is in Lake Havasu City, Arizona, at the northern and western edges of the Sonoran Desert. It was originally located in London, England, where it spanned the River Thames for over 130 years. There have actually been several different bridges called the London Bridge in the same location along the Thames over the past 2,000 years. This London Bridge was built to replace the Old London Bridge in 1831, which had been in place for over 600 years. The old bridge was too narrow to support the volume of traffic crossing each day, and its narrow arches blocked boat traffic on the river.

Robert McCulloch, an American business owner and millionaire who was building Lake Havasu City at the time, saw the bridge sale as an opportunity to attract tourists and residents to his new Arizona city. He put in a bid of $2.4 million for the bridge, doubling how much it would cost the city of London to dismantle the bridge, and adding $60,000 – $1,000 for each year of his age when the bridge was reconstructed in Lake Havasu City. His bid was accepted, and work began to dismantle the bridge and transport it across the Atlantic Ocean to the United States.

https://study.com/learn/lesson/london-bridge-in-arizona.html

2. You CAN purchase alien abduction insurance in Florida.

UFO Abduction Insurance Company

This Florida insurer has been writing alien abduction insurance policies since 1987. Located in Altamonte Springs, the company says its policies are perfect “for anyone who thinks they have everything covered.”

You can purchase $10 million in alien abduction insurance for a single lifetime premium of $19.95. You’ll receive a “gold bordered” policy claim form and a frequent flyer endorsement, according to the company’s website.

Policyholders can claim the $10 million if they can prove they were taken by “aliens not from this planet” and then returned. Of course, they will need one of the aliens on the ship to sign the claim form. Once a claim is approved, the beneficiary will be distributed $1 a year for 10 million years, or until their passing.

This payout doubles to $20 million if the aliens insist on conjugal visits, if the encounter results in any offspring, or if the aliens refer to the abductee as a nutritional food source.

https://www.homeinsured.org/article/all-about-alien-abduction-insurance

3. KFC DID release edible nail polish in those flavors in Hong Kong.

HONG KONG (CBS) — This really gives “Finger Lickin’ Good” a whole new meaning.

KFC has made edible nail polish – in Original and Hot & Spicy flavors – to promote its fast food restaurants in Hong Kong.

https://boston.cbslocal.com/2016/05/05/kfc-edible-nail-polish-hong-kong-original-hot

4. There IS a church in Las Vegas called The United Church of Bacon.  Their mission statement is “Hail Piggy, full of grease. The Lard is with thee.”

The church’s clergy members — who have the authority to officiate weddings and conduct baptisms and funerals — are called friars. The opening lines of “Hail Piggy: A Prayer for Bacon,” a play on Catholicism’s “Hail Mary,” are a medley of porky puns, such as, “Hail Piggy, full of grease, the Lard is with thee.” Clearly, some flavorful strategy has been put into the congregation’s principles.

Read More: https://www.mashed.com/805376/the-bacon-centric-church-you-probably-didnt-know-existed/?utm_campaign=clip

5. There WAS a program in NYC and Washington DC called “Joints for Jabs” giving every person who had at least I cv shot a free joint.

Authorities in the US capital have been working around the clock to open up the state, as seen by the relaxing of its prior restrictions against breweries, pubs, salons, restaurants and so on – where some of these now even give out a free appetiser, drink or cup of coffee for proof of vaccination. Others were even authorised to arrange prize giveaways and free tickets to landmark sports events. However, their most daring venture yet just saw them setting up the ‘Joints for Jabs’ program, which aims to incentivise the vaccine rollout by giving out a free ‘blunt’ to each successful recipient of the vaccine – yes, you heard me, free weed for anyone who gets vaccinated!

https://cbdreviewstoday.com/joints-for-jabs/

Are you keeping score? That’s right…ALL of them are true…wait for it…

APRIL FOOLS

These days it seems the current administration wants to jam electric vehicles down our throats! They complain that fossil fuels are damaging the planet but completely ignore the damage done in mining the earth for the components of electric car batteries. And not a peep about the enormous cost to replace those batteries!

But I think redneck vehicles offer very competitive options in these tough economic times. The first such option is hybrids…rednecks wrote the book on hybrids!

And these vehicles offer many of the same popular standard options just like other cars…bench seating for instance…

power windows…

anti theft devices…

But the biggest selling point might have to be affordable repairs.

And let’s not forget STYLE! You’re gonna turn heads in these babies…no doubt! No assembly line, boring, everyone’s got the same car for you!

So roll on in style…REDNECK style!!

You, Filly, you bring the sauce! Hell, girl, you ARE the sauce! You bring the facts. You are amazing at researching and finding information. And the sauce is rich, and flavorful and satisfying!

Me? I am the meatballs…

I love to laugh…love to make others laugh…and then laugh some more.

We’re gonna make this work…gonna make it informative and gonna make it fun!

But there’s always room for noodles…LOL