Fruitcake

Humor 1 Minute

For some unknown reason (and I really don’t want to delve into the reason why), fruitcake is a holiday tradition.  So, I thought I would share a recipe I found.

Holiday Fruitcake Recipe

1 cup water

1 cup sugar

4 large eggs

2 cups dried fruit

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp salt

I cup brown sugar

4 Tbsp lemon juice

4 ounces of mixed nuts

1 gallon whiskey

Before you begin, sample the whiskey to check for quality. 

Check the whiskey again to be sure it is of the highest quality.  Pour one level cup and drink.

Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 tsp sugar and beat again.

Make sure the whiskey is still ok!  Cry another tup.

Turn off mixer.  Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and chuckle in the cup of dried fruit.

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewsciver.

Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticaty.

Sift 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares?

Whisk the checky.  Sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.  Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something…whatever you can find.

Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.

Don’t forget to beat off the turner.

Throw the bowl out the window.

Check your whiskers again.

Go to bed. Who in the hell likes fruitcake anyway?

Unknown's avatar

Published by pat frederick

Published

186 thoughts on “Fruitcake”

    1. ROFL – good darned question! That is some nasty stuff, if you ask me! And, of course, you know me – I had to know…..according to the Smithsonian:

      “But can fruitcake really be as bad as all that? That’s hard to believe given its staying power, culturally speaking. The ancient Romans made a mishmash of barley, pomegranate seeds, nuts and raisins as a sort of energy bar; however the modern fruitcake can be traced back to the Middle Ages as dried fruits became more widely available and fruited breads entered Western European cuisine. But variations on the fruitcake started springing up: Italy’s dense, sweet-and-spicy panforte (literally, “strong bread”) dates back to 13th century Sienna; Germany’s stollen, a tapered loaf coated with melted butter and powdered sugar that’s more bread-like in consistency, has been a Dresden delicacy since the 1400s and has its own annual festival; and then there’s black cake in the Caribbean Islands, a boozy descendant of Britain’s plum pudding where the fruit is soaked in rum for months, or even as long as a year. The tradition of making fruitcakes for special occasions such as weddings and holidays gained in popularity in the 18th and 19th centuries and due to the cost of the materials, it was a grand indulgence. But, as with many traditions, how this confection came to be exclusively associated with Christmas season is a mystery.”

      https://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/fruitcake-101-a-concise-cultural-history-of-this-loved-and-loathed-loaf-26428035/

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Huh……from another site: “In the 19th century, fruitcake made with butter became traditional as a wedding cake in England. Both Princess Diana and Kate Middleton served fruitcakes at their weddings.”

      Liked by 1 person

        1. there are photos–shirtless photos of “brittney” on twitter playing basketball in AZ. they are real or very good photoshops…because the tats all MATCH PERFECTLY…that’s a DUDE

          Liked by 1 person

  4. Liked by 2 people

  6. Liked by 1 person

  8. Liked by 1 person

  9. WTH?????????????????????

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Liked by 1 person

    1. Well, he won’t be as aggressive as I’d like to see…..on some things, he can be kind of wishy-washy sometimes. It’s too early for me to recall specifics but there have been a few times he disappointed me. I know, I know – nobody is perfect.

      Liked by 2 people

  14. from tcth

    Citizen 817
    Citizen 817
    December 9, 2022 12:22 am

    @realDonaldTrump

    11h
    What kind of a deal is it to swap Brittney Griner, a basketball player who openly hates our Country, for the man known as “The Merchant of Death,” who is one of the biggest arms dealers anywhere in the World, and responsible for tens of thousands of deaths and horrific injuries. Why wasn’t former Marine Paul Whelan included in this totally one-sided transaction? He would have been let out for the asking. What a “stupid” and unpatriotic embarrassment for the USA!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  18. SunnyFlower5
    December 9, 2022 7:20 am
    Donald J. Trump

    @realDonaldTrump
    ·
    26m
    WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THE FBI & “JUSTICE” DEPARTMENT? THEY SEEM TO BE TOTALLY OUT OF CONTROL! THERE IS, RIGHT NOW, A “WEAPONIZATION” OF JUSTICE THE LIKES OF WHICH OUR COUNTRY HAS NEVER SEEN BEFORE. THE TWITTER AND FACEBOOK SCANDAL HAS ALREADY PROVEN TO BE, WITH THE POSSIBLE EXCEPTION OF SPYING ON MY CAMPAIGN,THEIR MOST SINISTER ACT IN HISTORY. EVEN THE RINOS & THE WEAK ARE OPENLY ADMITTING THAT THE 2020 ELECTION WAS RIGGED, BUT IN A DARKER WAY THAN EVER THOUGHT POSSIBLE. SO MANY LIVES DESTROYED!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Donald J. Trump

      @realDonaldTrump
      ·
      6m
      ELON: The Twitter releases are a revelation in that they show, in a very powerful fashion, the FBI and “Justice” illegally colluding, proving conclusively, in one more very powerful way, that the 2020 Presidential Election was Rigged & Stolen. What everyone is REALLY waiting to see, however, is the Twitter information and thought process leading up to the time of the so-called “Election,” and ultimately the “Deplatforming” of the President of the United States. Big moment in history. Thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Had to slide down to post this – on Fox – a Loudoun County parent panel about the interim Superintendent who has been appointed (problem is, he is from Fairfax County, which is even worse than Loudoun) about the girl who was sodomized in the bathroom. A teacher had walked into the bathroom and saw multiple feet in one stall….she simply turned and walked out, saying in court “This happens all the time!” Geez, they have gone sooooo far to the dark side since I lived there!!!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. It was allegedly the Superintendent but that should NOT stop a teacher from doing what they KNOW is right!!!! Yes, they may lose their job but still…..when you become a teacher, you put your students’ welfare FIRST!!!!

        Liked by 1 person

  20. i hope he loses his security clearance, job and pension…this is NUTS!

    Sam Brinton Luggage Felon

    He did it in Las Vegas as well.

    Yes, a second arrest for Felony Theft.pic.twitter.com/0CfgqF9nhi

    — Citizen Free Press (@CitizenFreePres) December 9, 2022

    Liked by 1 person

      1. suspended–but with pay probably…because he’s ses…making over 6 figures A YEAR
        this is why that nuclear secrets thing seems plausible to me…
        a prudent and honest fbi would be investigating every flight he took and looking into whether this has a pattern to it…

        Liked by 1 person

        1. OK, he is on “leave of absence,” whatever the fuck that means!!!! This is from a site you have to sign up to read and I’m not doing that.

          “With Samuel Brinton on a leave of absence from the Department of Energy, Kim Petry was asked to stay on as acting deputy assistant secretary for spent fuel and waste disposition “for the foreseeable future,” she wrote in an email to colleagues late last week. “I…”

          Liked by 1 person

        2. Entire Article @ DailyBeast:
          (picture of the freak)

          “A felony arrest warrant has been issued for an Energy Department official for allegedly stealing luggage from Harry Reid International Airport in Las Vegas, according to a report. Sam Brinton, who was recently appointed head of spent nuclear fuel management, has allegedly been accused of grand larceny with a value of between $1,200 and $5,000, 8 News Now reports. The accusation comes after Brinton—who is non-binary and uses they/them pronouns—was charged with stealing someone else’s bag from Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport in April. Court filings in that case claim Brinton said they initially denied taking the suitcase belonging to another person before later contacting airport authorities to say they were “tired and took the suitcase thinking it was theirs.” Brinton, 35, has been on leave from their DOE role for at least a month, according to reports. A Department of Energy representative didn’t immediately respond to a slew of questions from The Daily Beast.”

          Liked by 1 person

  21. so which is true?

    Twitter isn’t using Perkins Coie. No company should use them until they make amends for Sussman’s attempt to corrupt a Presidential election.

    — Elon Musk (@elonmusk) December 9, 2022

    OR

    Elon, Kash & I looked through court filings for our upcoming @KashsCorner that show that Perkins Coie acting on Twitter’s behalf as recently as Dec 6, and in multiple cases. I’m concerned someone has misled you. The episode w/ examples will run on @EpochTVus 8pm ET Friday.

    — Jan Jekielek (@JanJekielek) December 9, 2022

    Liked by 1 person

  23. GOD LOVE HER!!!
    woman celebrates 108th birthday!!!!!!
    FTA
    A woman in Louisiana celebrated her 108th birthday with family, continuing to outlive all six of her siblings and her three sons.

    “I think it is great I have been here this long,” Christine Homan said.

    Homan was born on Dec. 4, 1914, during World War I.

    She said she’s adjusted well over the years, watching everything change from cars to technology. Homan stunned computer instructors at the public library by learning email and Microsoft Publisher when was 101 years old.

    Homan was born in Kentucky and moved to Louisiana while one of her sons was stationed at Barksdale Air Force Base.

    She said she’s done a little of everything in her life – working in the crops, at a sewing factory, Sears and Kroger.

    “For the most part, I’ve had a good life,” Homan said. “I’ve worked all my life. It’s time to rest.”

    The staff at the senior living facility where she has been living for the past three years said at her age, she’s very independent and loves to talk about growing up on a farm in Kentucky.

    https://www.ky3.com/2022/12/08/taco-loving-woman-celebrates-108th-birthday/

    Liked by 1 person

  24. so sad…i can remember the “live and let live” speeches…diversity is strength bullshit…we just want to live in peace. no, they don’t. they deceive to gain a foot in the door…then their true nature emerges. nativity scene is destroyed AGAIN
    FTA
    Just four days after it was erected, vandals decimated a nativity scene at an ancient church in England.

    The Rev. Danny Morrison, vicar of the 13th century All Saints Church in Ipswich, told local media members of his congregation were “distraught and saddened” by the “barbaric” attack that left the nativity scene in shambles, according to LBC News.

    “Why would someone have so much hatred and desire to ruin and destroy something that is not their property, and something that is there to express someone’s belief?” he asked. “I am also saddened because I know the amount of work put in by so many at the church, and also saddened for the people that have done it.”

    https://www.faithwire.com/2022/12/08/so-much-hatred-vandals-smash-ancient-churchs-nativity-scene-decapitate-joseph-figurine-in-barbaric-attack/

    Liked by 1 person

  25. wth????
    78% of federal land leases for wind farms got to FOREIGN energy companies???
    entire article
    Roughly 78% of federal land auctioned by the Biden administration for offshore wind developments along California’s coast went to five large foreign energy companies.

    Equinor, a Norwegian energy giant, purchased more than 80,062 acres of leased land for $130 million while Central California Offshore Wind LLC, a joint venture between France’s Engie and Portuguese company EDP Renewables, bought 80,418 acres for $150 million, according to a Wednesday Interior Department press release. California North Floating LLC, a subsidiary of Denmark’s Copenhagen Infrastructure Partners spent nearly $174 million purchasing 69,031 acres of land for wind power development and RWE Offshore Wind Holdings, a German company, bought 63,338 acres, spending almost $158 million. (RELATED: Biden’s Wind Power Push Will Threaten An Endangered Whale Species, Gov’t Scientist Says)

    In total, the Interior Department leased 292,850 out of a possible 373,268 acres (78%) of federal waters to European firms for wind turbine construction. Invenergy California Offshore LLC, a division of the Chicago-based renewable developer Invenergy LLC, was the only U.S. company among the five competitors to secure a lease.

    During February’s record-setting offshore wind auction, only one American company, Invenergy Wind Offshore LLC, was featured among several European-owned companies that held winning bids. The foreign-owned companies, which leased more than 84% of the auctioned land, are subsidiaries of large European energy firms or represent joint ventures between foreign businesses such as Shell and TotalEnergies.

    The offshore wind projects resulting from the lease sales could produce 4.6 gigawatts of wind power, which is enough to electrify more than 1.5 million homes, according to the department’s press release.

    The Biden administration aims to grow U.S. offshore wind generation from less than 1 gigawatt currently to 30 gigawatts by the end of 2030 as part of its aggressive green energy transition, according to a White House fact sheet. Meanwhile, the European Union boasted 14.6 gigawatts of offshore wind production in 2021 and hopes to have 25 times that number by 2030, according to the European Commission.

    Biden promised that his push to accelerate the construction of wind energy projects would benefit domestic businesses and create new jobs while mitigating the “climate crisis.”

    The Interior Department did not immediately respond to the Daily Caller News Foundation’s request for comment.

    https://dailycaller.com/2022/12/08/biden-admin-offshore-wind-lease-sales-foreign-companies/

    Like

  26. “Highwire Senate Hearing Highlight Reel – THIS is the (smaller) video to share — Del Bigtree and The HighWire compiled this 10 minute highlight reel from Senator Johnson’s 3 hour Hearing on Dec. 7th 2022. Send this to people.”

    Super Spreader
    8 hr ago

    EXCERPT: “In my opinion this is the perfect video to spread the word about the recent hearing. It’s hard for people to watch the full three hour hearing, but this 10 minute highlight reel delivers a lot of the important moments. You can send this to representatives and ask them why they are not investigating. Or to school board members, or local sheriffs, or family members, you get the idea.”

    https://mole.substack.com/p/highwire-senate-hearing-highlight

    Liked by 1 person

  32. SunnyFlower5
    December 9, 2022 7:55 am

    Donald J. Trump@realDonaldTrump
    Under the Presidential Records Act and the very well established Clinton Socks Case, the raid of Mar-a-Lago by the FBI, and the taking of documents and many other items, was ILLEGAL. Everything should be returned, at once!

    Liked by 1 person

  33. tcth
    Aggiegirl
    Aggiegirl
    December 9, 2022 8:10 am

    Its starting to make sense now:

    Bout, who was ethnically Ukrainian, began to sell arms, aircraft and leftover weaponry lying around during Ukraine’s original founding mess in the 1990s, back when Bill Clinton was telling Ukraine to give up their nuclear weapons and trust him to protect the country instead.

    https://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2022/12/after_brittney_griner_swapped_for_russian_arms_dealer_message_sent_is_that_woke_politics_has_its_perks.html

    Liked by 1 person

  36. From CTH

    tyshab – December 9, 2022 8:40 am

    Here are the Republicans who want your pastor imprisoned for refusing homosexual wedding services:
    Senate
    Mitt Romney (UT)
    Joni Ernst (IA)
    Cynthia Lummis (WY)
    Roy Blunt (MO)
    Shelley Moore Capito (WV)
    Lisa Murkowski (AK)
    Rob Portman (OH)
    Dan Sullivan (AK)
    Thom Tillis (NC)
    Todd Young (IN)
    Susan Collins (ME)
    House of Representatives
    Reps. Kelly Armstrong (N.D.)
    Don Bacon (Neb.)
    Ken Calvert (Calif.)
    Kat Cammack (Fla.)
    Mike Carey (Ohio)
    Liz Cheney (Wyo.)
    John Curtis (Utah)
    Rodney Davis (Ill.)
    Tom Emmer (Minn.)
    Brian Fitzpatrick (Pa.)
    Mike Gallagher (Wis.)
    Andrew Garbarino (N.Y.)
    Mike Garcia (Calif.)
    Carlos Gimenez (Fla.)
    Tony Gonzales (Texas)
    Anthony Gonzalez (Ohio)
    Jaime Herrera Beutler (Wash.)
    Ashley Hinson (Iowa)
    Darrell Issa (Calif.)
    Chris Jacobs (N.Y.)
    Dave Joyce (Ohio)
    John Katko (N.Y.)
    Nancy Mace (S.C.)
    Nicole Malliotakis (N.Y.)
    Peter Meijer (Mich.)
    Mariannette Miller-Meeks (Iowa)
    Blake Moore (Utah)
    Dan Newhouse (Wash.)
    Jay Obernolte (Calif.)
    Tom Rice (S.C.)
    Mike Simpson (Idaho)
    Elise Stefanik (N.Y.)
    Bryan Steil (Wis.)
    Chris Stewart (Utah)
    Michael Turner (Ohio)
    Fred Upton (Mich.)
    David Valadao (Calif.)
    Ann Wagner (Mo.)
    Mike Waltz (Fla.).

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I really didn’t think any of NE’s reps would vote for it – happy to see I was correct! Of course, Sasse is probably not voting now since he will be resigning soon but he wouldn’t have voted yes anyway. He is a dominionist Christian.

      Liked by 2 people

  40. The Dossier gets shoutout from Tucker Carlson
    Clip from 12/8/22 show.

    Jordan Schachtel
    43 min ago
    Tucker Carlson gave yours truly a shoutout on his show last night.

    The highest rated Fox News host covered our latest story about the cover up involving the Biden Administration’s prisoner swap with Russia, through which they prioritized a WNBA star over a Marine veteran. The full segment starts at around 26 minutes in. Tucker giving credit to The Dossier starts at 29:35.

    “We missed this. A writer on Substack, Jordan Schachtel noticed it and we’re glad that he did. This kind of thing happens all the time in Washington constantly, usually without the public knowing it happened.” -Tucker

    None of this is possible without your generous support. I’m more than grateful for all of you!

    Best
    Jordan

    https://dossier.substack.com/p/the-dossier-gets-shoutout-from-tucker

    Liked by 1 person

  41. Issue: December 8, 2022
    “Investigation launches into possible State Department funding of third parties to censor online speech — Possible covert censorship tactics investigated.”
    By Dan Frieth
    Posted 1:43 pm

    ENTIRE ARTICLE: “America First Legal (AFL) has announced that it has filed a total of nine Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) requests that pertain to US State Department’s behavior in awarding grants and funding to outfits that are allegedly used as a way to “outsource” government censorship and disinformation.

    The group suspects that the State Department used the Global Engagement Center (GEC) to fund “content moderation” groups, and had set aside $60 million for this purpose.

    AFL says its FOIA requests aim to shed light on how in a number of cases the State Department pushed money to the likes of the Atlantic Council, Digital Public Square, Moonshot CVE, and the National Endowment for Democracy (NED), which AFL says are “deeply involved” in moderation and censorship on internet platforms.

    The obvious reason why this would be done would be for the government to find ways to circumvent First Amendment limitations it faces to itself, directly censor “unwanted” online content.

    The latest requests are part of AFL’s ongoing investigations into how the US government engaged in its “misinformation and disinformation” campaign, dubbed here as Orwellian, including how it may have used its powers to influence major social media to act on its behalf. This AFL effort includes a lawsuit filed recently to force the government to disclose any involvement by GEC in this suspected scheme in the period before the 2020 presidential elections.

    See the lawsuits here and here.

    AFL says that it recently learned, via State Department leaks, about a video game funded in this way to essentially indoctrinate youth against “populist news content,” while another government-financed game found its way to schools around the world, apparently as one way to influence elections in various countries.

    Back in the US, AFL says it hopes that its efforts to obtain the records in question, should they succeed, will “help shed light on how these taxpayer funds and authorities are being weaponized against the American people and our civil liberties.”

    AFL’s First Legal Senior Counselor and Director of Oversight Reed D. Rubinstein commented, among other things, that “politically partisan bureaucrats, almost always in concert with private companies, are running multiple propaganda campaigns and information actions to suppress First Amendment-protected speech and to control and shape what Americans hear and think.”

    “But alleged ‘misinformation’ or ‘disinformation’ – whether about COVID-19, or election integrity, or Hunter Biden’s laptop – are merely avatars for government or corporate-declared wrongthink, and excuses for crushing lawful political dissent,” Rubinstein concluded.”

    https://reclaimthenet.org/state-department-funding-of-third-parties-to-censor-online-speech-foia/

    Liked by 1 person

  42. brought this exchange from tcth…MADE ME LAUGH OUT LOUD

    zephyrbreeze
    zephyrbreeze
    December 9, 2022 9:01 am

    First lady Michelle Obama considered wearing her hair in braids while living in the White House. But then she thought of the American people.

    “Let me keep my hair straight,” Obama said of her mind-set at the time. “Let’s get health care passed.”https://t.co/uF1peWIj29

    — The Washington Post (@washingtonpost) November 17, 2022

    0
    Reply
    SunnyFlower5
    SunnyFlower5
    December 9, 2022 9:17 am
    Reply to zephyrbreeze

    America has no problem with her hair. It’s her penis that may be off putting.

    Rip Joan Rivers

    Liked by 1 person

  43. Issue: December 8, 2022
    “Judge orders Southwest flight attendant, fired for pro-life emails and social media posts, to be reinstated — She had already received a large payout.”
    By Cindy Harper
    Posted 11:14 am

    ENTIRE ARTICLE: “A federal judge in North Texas ordered Southwest Airlines to reinstate a flight attendant who was fired for expressing her views against abortion. Former flight attendant Charlene Carter was fired in 2017 after she sent emails and social media messages to then-president of Transport Workers’ Union Local 556 Audrey Stone. Carter told Stone she was “despicable” for attending the pro-abortion Women’s March in Washington DC, according to the lawsuit.

    “This is what you supported during your paid leave with others at the Women’s March in D.C.,” Carter wrote to Stone in a Facebook message. “You truly are despicable in so many ways.”

    In Carter’s opinion, the union shouldn’t support abortion rights. Her lawsuit alleged that the union and the airline violated her free speech rights by terminating her. The suit further argued that the Railway Labor Act, which governs labor agreements at airlines, protects her freedom to engage in “protected speech and activity in opposing, challenging, and advocating against Local 556, President Stone, and the union’s activities.”

    US District Judge Brantley Starr ordered the airline to reinstate Carter.

    “The Court ENJOINS Defendants from discriminating against Southwest flight attendants for their religious practices and beliefs, including — but not limited to — those expressed on social media and those concerning abortion,” the judge wrote in the ruling. In July, a jury awarded Carter a total of $5.3 million. However, the judge reduced it to a little over $800,000 to comply with federal limits. Federal discrimination law limits the amount companies can pay in damages.

    The judge also warned the union and the airline against retaliating against Carter, and ordered them to send the verdict to employees and to post it on bulletin boards and in break rooms. Carter was represented by the National Right To Work Committee, which fights compulsory union fees and membership.

    “Ms. Carter’s victory should prompt nationwide scrutiny of union bosses’ coercive, government-granted powers over workers, especially in the airline and rail industries,” said a statement from National Right to Work Foundation President Mark Mix. “Even after her victory, she and her colleagues at Southwest and other airlines under union control can be forced, as per the Railway Labor Act, to pay money to union officials just to keep their jobs.”

    Southwest Airlines plans to appeal the ruling.

    “Southwest Airlines has a demonstrated history of supporting our employees’ rights to express their opinions when done in a respectful manner,” said a spokesperson for the airline. “We are in the process of assessing the requirements of the recent judgment as we move forward with our plans for an appeal.”

    Liked by 1 person

  47. Well, I found the empty dish in the flower bed so, apparently, LM found it. I refilled it and put it back out on the porch. I’ll be able to see his footprints in the snow. I saw the big gray/white cat going across the field behind me late yesterday – it looked like he was limping but I could be wrong.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m pretty sure he did – after I saw the gray cat, I checked the food and it hadn’t been touched at that point. That gray/white cat is very wary of me for some reason. I’ve tried to call him over and be friendly but he veers away from me every time so I said the hell with it. LM is loving and friendly—well, when he’s not feeling his oats, so to speak! And that is just his way of showing his “love,” you might say! LOL

        Liked by 1 person

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