Fruitcake

Humor 1 Minute

For some unknown reason (and I really don’t want to delve into the reason why), fruitcake is a holiday tradition.  So, I thought I would share a recipe I found.

Holiday Fruitcake Recipe

1 cup water

1 cup sugar

4 large eggs

2 cups dried fruit

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp salt

I cup brown sugar

4 Tbsp lemon juice

4 ounces of mixed nuts

1 gallon whiskey

Before you begin, sample the whiskey to check for quality. 

Check the whiskey again to be sure it is of the highest quality.  Pour one level cup and drink.

Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 tsp sugar and beat again.

Make sure the whiskey is still ok!  Cry another tup.

Turn off mixer.  Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and chuckle in the cup of dried fruit.

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewsciver.

Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticaty.

Sift 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares?

Whisk the checky.  Sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.  Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something…whatever you can find.

Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.

Don’t forget to beat off the turner.

Throw the bowl out the window.

Check your whiskers again.

Go to bed. Who in the hell likes fruitcake anyway?

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Published by pat frederick

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186 thoughts on “Fruitcake”

  1. This fucking bitch….grrrr……and Brand is the same ilk!!! Scumbags!!!

    EXCERPT: “Republican National Committee Chair Ronna McDaniel unequivocally endorsed mail-in balloting Tuesday, distancing herself from former President Donald Trump on an issue that is fracturing the GOP in the wake of disappointing election results this fall.

    “What we do need is our voters need to vote early,” McDaniel, a longtime Trump ally, said during a televised interview on Fox News. “I have said this over and over again. There were many in 2020 saying, ‘Don’t vote by mail, don’t vote early.’ And we have to stop that.”

    McDaniel’s comments came as part of an extended discussion on ballot harvesting — the third-party collection of completed absentee ballots. McDaniel said the RNC has “perfected” the practice in states where it’s legal before making her broader point about taking advantage of early and mail-in voting.

    “The discussion was about Democrats having a month to bank votes while Republicans expect to get it done in one day,” RNC spokesperson Nathan Brand said in a statement to NBC News. “We were not talking about the former president, who has encouraged his base to vote early and has himself voted by mail.”

    https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/politics-news/rnc-chair-defends-mail-voting-even-trump-trashes-rcna60405

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Library Kids Excited To Hear Story Read By Mysterious New Drag Queen Kirkdazzle Glameroni
    U.S. · Dec 8, 2022 · BabylonBee.com

    LOS ANGELES, CA — Drag queen story hours are taking the nation by storm, and children at the Eastside Public Library in Los Angeles aren’t being left behind. Kids of all ages gathered excitedly in the children’s section of the library Wednesday afternoon to hear a story read by up-and-coming drag queen Kirkdazzle Glameroni.

    “Hey, kids, whooooooo’s ready to read some stories?!” Glameroni said, entering the room in a blonde wig and carrying a large, leather-bound book. Audience members responded with cries of “Yass queen!” and “Slay, girl!” as parents who’d brought their kids to hear stories read by a man in a dress, apparently on purpose and somehow completely within the bounds of the law, cheered wildly.

    Their excitement slowly morphed into horror, however, as Kirkdazzle Glameroni began reading from the book of Romans: “The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of people, who suppress the truth by their wickedness, since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities — his eternal power and divine nature — have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.” It was not immediately clear if Glameroni had accidentally grabbed the wrong book, as parents had been under the impression the drag queen would be reading material appropriate for kids such as This Book Is Gay, Bye, Bye, Binary!, or How to Cut Off Your Body Parts.

    Horrified parents covered their kids’ ears and carried them out of the library, running in terror as Glameroni chased after them while shouting, “Have you ever lied?! Have you ever stolen?! Have you ever hated anyone?! I have good news for you!”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. i read she is the counter point to the first guy…not sure how to phrase it. but if you consider him conservative, she is not…
      I never heard much of either before this…not that i would recognize. but this was musk’s version of both sides get the info

      Liked by 1 person

      1. She used to work for the NY Slimes so yes, she is a liberal, but I am hopeful she tends toward an old-fashioned style of liberal. But this could, indeed, ALL be a plan and they are all working with Musk – no way to know until it all shakes out……IF it all shakes out!

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Bill Barr: Trump Will Burn Down the GOP. Time for New Leadership.
    By William P. Barr
    Monday, Nov 21, 2022

    “During the Republican primaries in 2016, I supported, in succession, every alternative to Donald Trump. I did not see him as our party’s standard-bearer. He was not my idea of a president. I could see that he was grossly self-centered, lacked self-control, and almost always took his natural pugnacity too far. While he could be compelling, I found myself cringing at his frequently juvenile, bombastic, and petulant style.

    I also saw Trump’s strengths. I liked the clear and direct way he staked out a position and his willingness to state unpleasant truths that many were afraid to say. I appreciated that he was willing to confront head-on difficult issues—like unfair trade deals, or our allies’ paltry defense spending—that other politicians dodged. Above all, Trump had accurately diagnosed, and given voice to, the deep frustration of many middle-class and working-class Americans who were fed up with the excesses of progressive Democrats; the shameless partisanship of the mainstream media; and the smug condescension of elites who had mismanaged the country, sold them out, and appeared content to preside over the decline of America.

    But it is now clear he lacks the qualities essential to achieving the kind of unity and broad election victory in 2024 so necessary if we are to right our listing republic. It is time for new leadership.”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. New site so I thought I’d see what it’s all about…..

      “About The Free Press

      The Free Press is a new media company founded by Bari Weiss and built on the ideals that once were the bedrock of great journalism: honesty, doggedness, and fierce independence. We publish investigative stories and provocative commentary about the world as it actually is—with the quality once expected from the legacy press, but the fearlessness of the new.

      Originally called Common Sense, we focus on stories that are ignored or misconstrued in the service of an ideological narrative. For us, curiosity isn’t a liability. It’s a necessity. Expect debates, scoops from trusted reporters, provocations from those thinking outside the lines, and live events that bring people with different views together into a truly diverse community.

      You won’t agree with everything we run. And we think that’s exactly the point. A free press for free people.

      To get in touch, contact tips@thefp.com.”

      Like

    1. And that, my friends, is the question of the day!!!! I did see a brief clip of someone on Fox earlier talking about revising the 203 statute that governs the social media companies. Or maybe in the Tucker video? Hell, I can’t remember now…..

      Liked by 1 person

  9. EXCERPT: “June 2020: At around the same time, the Kremlin approaches the Trump Administration to attempt to make a deal. They first offer Whelan up for Viktor Bout and Konstantin Yaroshenko, according to Russia’s Interfax. Bout, the notorious “merchant of death,” was convicted in 2011 of conspiracy to kill Americans. Yaroshenko, a lower priority drug trafficker, was sentenced in 2011 to 20 years in prison for conspiring to import more than US$100 million worth of cocaine.

    The Trump Administration declines the offer.

    According to former national security advisor John Bolton, the Russians then offered a one for one swap offer: Whelan for Bout. The Trump Administration again declined, not wanting to release the international warlord from custody.”

    https://dossier.substack.com/p/the-worst-trade-in-history-a-timeline

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Ah, LM just showed up – I knew because Jake went flying off the back of the couch. I gave him some rubs while he purred, then went to chowing down. He’s got quite the tummy on him now! I think the wormer probably had a lot to do with that. His ears don’t look as bad, either…..I really want to get that ear mite medicine in his ears but it would take another person to help.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Jan 6 committee gonna refer REALPOTUS for criminal charges…
    fta

    “Our job is to look at the facts and circumstances around January 6 — what caused it — and make recommendations after that,” he said. When asked specifically if there would be a criminal referral from the committee, Thompson said flatly, “We don’t have authority.”

    Well, Santa came early to Capitol Hill and left a nice Christmas present for the Democrats: the authority to refer Donald Trump to the Justice Department for prosecution. Santa is a very clever man since he can pull the authority to criminally refer a president out of thin air. Perhaps if he puts his mind to it, he can make the $31 trillion federal deficit disappear.

    Prosecution of what, no one is quite sure yet. But you can bet they’ll come up with something.

    https://pjmedia.com/news-and-politics/rick-moran/2022/12/08/just-in-time-for-christmas-the-january-6-committee-will-recommend-the-justice-department-indict-donald-trump-n1651938

    Liked by 1 person

  12. so Florida LOST him or released him????
    entire article
    Notorious Mexican cartel leader and hitman Edgar Valdez-Villareal has disappeared from the federal prison database, despite not being eligible for release until 2056.

    The 49-year-old Sinaloa Cartel member, who is suspected of having killed dozens, goes by the nickname “La Barbie” thanks to his blue eyes. He is listed as “not in BOP custody” on the Bureau of Prisons website. Fox News reports that the BOP has Valdez-Villareal listed as “released,” though the site frequently lists those who are being transferred to the custody of another organization as such.

    Mexican President Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador (AMLO) is pressing the US government for answers about where La Barbie is. One reporter asked him about the cartel leader’s whereabouts during a press conference.

    “It’s very strange what is going on in the United States with Mr. Villareal, who is no longer registered among those in custody, and we want to know where he is,” AMLO said to reporters. “There is no reason for him to leave prison because he was condemned to many years unless there was some kind of an agreement.”

    Veldez-Villareal was sentenced to 49 years in prison in 2015 after being extradited to the United States. He was being kept at a facility in Florida.

    The BOP provided a statement to the New York Post on Thursday noting that they do not give information on prisoner transfers.

    “We do not provide specific information on the status of inmates who are not in the custody of the BOP for safety, security or privacy reasons,” the spokesman told the outlet.

    Valdez-Villareal was born in Texas. He became involved in organized crime and began working with various cartels until he joined the Sinaloa cartel under El Chapo. He was taken into custody after a firefight with Mexican police in 2010.

    https://thepostmillennial.com/sinaloa-cartel-hitman-disappears-from-florida-prison-database?utm_campaign=64487

    Liked by 1 person

  14. well the rut isn’t over…lol…watching 4 buck pursue a ready and willing doe…a six, a four and 2 spike bucks… the 6 won out and the entire act was over in less than 2 minutes…poor doe

    Liked by 1 person

      1. the four actually had the better body–next year–i expect him to be king of the hill if he survives–thick, meaty shoulders and chest…the 4 tines were thick and fairly long…he was impressive…

        Liked by 1 person

  15. “Europol uncovers extensive EU-wide migrant smuggling network — The organized crime network sought to bring mainly Iraqis into the European Union via the Baltic migratory route through Belarus”

    December 09, 2022
    editor: REMIX NEWS author: MAGYAR NEMZET

    Serbian police detain illegal immigrants on the Serbian-Hungarian border on November 25. (MTI/AP/Serbian Ministry of Interior)

    ENTIRE ARTICLE: “Sixty-one suspected members of a migrant smuggling network facilitating the entry of Iraqi migrants into the EU have been arrested in Germany, Lithuania, and Poland, the European Union’s police cooperation organization Europol said on Thursday.

    The EU body said the criminal network, made up mainly of Syrian and Turkish nationals, had organized the smuggling of Iraqi migrants from Baghdad to the European Union. The migrants, recruited in Iraq, traveled by plane via Turkey to Russia and from there were flown to Belarus, before entering the EU via the borders of Latvia, Lithuania, and Poland. The final destinations were predominantly Germany and Finland.

    In more than 100 cases, the criminal network brought groups of migrants into the EU. The suspects demanded between €3,000 and €15,000 from the migrants, with an estimated total revenue stream of over €16 million.

    During an operation carried out on Dec. 7 by the Estonian, German, Latvian, Lithuanian, and Polish national authorities, 12 illegal border crossings organized by the group were recorded, during which they attempted to bring 30 migrants into the European Union.

    Giving details of the group’s activities, Europol said that most of the people involved in the smuggling of migrants did not know each other personally. The payments were made using a hawala (an informal Arab value transfer system) through intermediaries and cryptocurrency. The drivers, mainly of Ukrainian nationality, were paid in exchange for photographs of the migrants at their final destination.

    Europol also reported that some were abandoned after arriving in Belarus. Unable to return home, the migrants organized their own illegal border crossing into the EU. Most of them used one of the many groups available on social media messaging platforms to cross the border, mainly heading to Germany.

    The drivers asked for between €500 and €1,000 each. Migrants reported journeys often in life-threatening conditions. In one case in Germany, a migrant was found dead after being abandoned by the driver due to a serious health condition near the German-Polish border, according to Europol.”

    Liked by 1 person

  16. ROFLMAO – you go, Grandma!!!!

    VIDEO: Ukrainian woman tries to rob bank in Poland, ends up beaten by 90-year-old Polish woman armed with a cane — When no one else would make a move, this 90-year-old Polish woman stepped up and saved the day”

    December 09, 2022
    editor: GRZEGORZ ADAMCZYK author: PRZEMYSL.NASZEMIASTO.PL via: MAGNAPOLONIA.ORG
    ENTIRE ARTICLE: “A 25-year-old Ukrainian woman reportedly attempted to rob a Polish bank, but her plan did not account for an 90-year-old Polish woman with a cane.

    The young Ukrainian woman walked into the PKO Bank Polski in Przemyśl, southeastern Poland, on Tuesday afternoon, put a knife to one of the workers’ throats, and demanded money. She threatened to kill the employee while the worker packed money into a bag. Police say the suspect tried to steal 12,500 zloty (€2,700 euro) in cash.

    During the robbery, a 90-year-old woman suddenly approached, appearing to be unafraid of the young woman armed with a knife, and began striking the surprised robber with her orthopedic cane, which allowed bank workers to overpower the intruder.

    The incident was captured on video and spread on social media.

    According to police, the 25-year-old woman has a dual citizenship, Ukrainian and Russian, and previously lived in Moscow. She also has a Polish identification number, PESEL. She had medication on her that indicated she was undergoing psychiatric treatment.

    The next day, the suspect was transported to the Regional Prosecutor’s Office in Przemyśl, where she was charged with robbery using a dangerous object. According to the prosecutor, she confessed to committing the crime and explained that “she had no money or place to live and needed money to travel to Warsaw.”

    The woman may face a penalty of at least three years in prison. Under the court ruling, she will be detained for two months at the prosecutor’s request.”

    Liked by 1 person

  17. I think these countries are sick and tired of the US having all the goodies!!!

    “UK, Italy, and Japan team up to jointly develop stealth fighter jet — Development of the new Tempest aircraft is reportedly already underway and will eventually replace the Eurofighter Typhoon jet”

    December 09, 2022
    editor: REMIX NEWS author: THOMAS BROOKE

    (A BAE Systems image render of the new Tempest jet(

    ENTIRE ARTICLE: “Defense contractors in the United Kingdom, Italy, and Japan are to collaborate to develop a next-generation fighter jet, Britain’s Prime Minister Rishi Sunak is set to announce on Friday. It is understood the new Tempest aircraft will replace the Eurofighter Typhoon jet currently used by Britain’s Royal Air Force and the Italian Air Force. The jet will adopt artificial intelligence to be flown without a pilot’s input if required. It will also be capable of firing hypersonic missiles.

    Work on developing the jet is reportedly already underway, with it expected to enter service by the mid-2030s. Britain’s BAE Systems, Japan’s Mitsubishi Heavy Industries, and Italy’s Leonardo defense contractor will reportedly lead on the design of the aircraft, according to Japan’s defense ministry.

    The cooperation agreement, known as the Global Combat Air Programme (GCAP) is the first partnership of its kind to span Europe and Asia, and will be Japan’s first major defense collaboration with a nation other than the United States since World War II, according to Reuters. The venture is expected to create thousands of jobs across the three countries and strengthen ties in the wake of increasing threats from Russia and China.

    “We are committed to upholding the rules-based, free and open international order, which is more important than ever at a time when these principles are contested, and threats and aggression are increasing,” the three nations said in a joint leaders’ statement.

    “Through the GCAP, we will build on our longstanding defense relationship. The GCAP will accelerate our advanced military capability and technological edge. It will deepen defense cooperation, scientific and technological collaboration, integrated supply chains and further strengthen our defense industrial base,” they added.

    The statement highlighted the “broader economic and industrial benefits” of the agreement, supporting jobs and livelihoods in Italy, Japan, and the UK, while “attracting R&D investment in digital design and advanced manufacturing processes.”

    “It is our hope that the Global Combat Air Programme, and through it our partnership of capabilities, will be a cornerstone of global security, stability and prosperity in the coming decades,” the statement concluded.

    The British prime minister is expected to launch the first major phase of the program during a visit to an RAF base in Coningsby, Lincolnshire, on Friday.

    “The next-generation of combat aircraft we design will protect us and our allies around the world by harnessing the strength of our world-beating defense industry — creating jobs while saving lives,” he said ahead of the visit.”

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Well, hell’s bells! Wouldn’t you know that Mom got NO snow at all!!! So much for it all going south!!! SMDH – they just got ice and it has already melted. So tomorrow morning, first thing, I’ll be heading south.

    Liked by 1 person

  38. I am adding a short daily prayer to the board. I would invite each of you, if you wish, to also add one or maybe two of your own liking. I do not want to stifle anyone but please limit yourself to one or two religious postings. here’s one I found that I liked.

    Like

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