I DON’T!

Humor 3 Minutes

February is a very romantic month. Florists and jewelers do their best to get men caught up in the moment—maybe leading to some beautiful, some unusual and some downright stupid proposals. The following are some excerpts from an article on ELITEDAILY.COM.   Some made me laugh, most made me shake my head and a few made me wonder who raised these guys.

From: ELITEDAILY.COM:

Bad Food Proposals

My best friend just got engaged and when her SO proposed they were in a little french deli. She had just put a massive mouthful of pie in her face when she saw he had got down on one knee. She was so shocked she spat the pie out all over herself, all over him, all over everything. She just sort of nodded … it was very like her to do something like that so it’s all fine but still … I don’t think he was expecting pie in his face.

I knew a guy who was at McDonalds with his girlfriend one time, and as a joke he wrapped a fry around her finger and said, “Will you McMarry me?” She started crying and called her mom and like started planning the wedding the next day. He hadn’t meant to propose but he didn’t have the heart to tell her so, so he just married her.

Bait & Switch

Saw a couple in a jewelry store when my wife and I were looking. Guy asks to see a ring, kneels, “will you marry me?”. She flips….ohmygod!ohmygod!ohmygod!ohmygod! yes yes yes!! He says “great!” then hands the ring back to the employee and tries to leave the store. He proposed with a borrowed ring. Tries to explain to the girl he couldn’t afford the ring but wanted to propose correctly. She slaps him so hard my face hurt (she put her whole body into the slap) and starts screaming about how her mother was right, etc. etc. No clue if they ever got together, but it was hard to watch.

Charming

My dad stuck the ring in a stick of deodorant, then told my mom she needed to use it. Small argument ensues when mom tells dad she does not need it.

Awkward

Pilot here. Guy asks me to fly him and his SO over a field, where 150 people had formed a heart and two rings. Huge show, I was really impressed. When she saw it, her response was: “Look at all those idiots! How ridiculous is that??” He did not ask his question that day.

I proposed on a dinner cruise and told her I was gonna throw her overboard if she said no. The couple next to us interrupted to ask if she needed help.

This will never be seen, but it’s too good not to mention. My friend’s girlfriend knew he had purchased a ring, and could not have been more excited about it. So when he told her to dress up nice, because he was taking her out for a fancy dinner, she was over the moon. All through the meal, she sat giddily on the edge of her seat. They had appetizers, dinner, dessert, and then… got back in the car to go home. Finally, she said, “What’s going on? Why aren’t aren’t you proposing?”

He apologized, and said he planned to, but the ring hadn’t gotten re-sized yet. She was crushed. Fast-forward a couple of hours, and they were lying in bed at the end of the night. My friend turned to his lady and said, “You should touch my penis.”

“No,” she said. “I’ve had a really disappointing night, and I don’t exactly feel sexy.”

“You should touch my penis.”

“No! You’re drunk, it’ll take forever!”

“You should touch my penis.”

“FINE!”

The ring was under his balls.

And to think, you believed romance was dead.

SOURCE: ELITEDAILY.COM

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Published by pat frederick

Published

92 thoughts on “I DON’T!”

  3. Morning All

    butt cold this morning.

    Philly won the super bowl which is good–anyone but the Chiefs.

    I hope they rethink the whole pissy immature attitude of not going to the WH if the offer is extended because this is only their second SB win in all these years. they need to be humble and proud to be invited not ghetto hell no BS.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Morning, Pat! I hope they go to the WH, too – if they don’t, they’ll just show they have NO class, particularly since it was the first time a US President attended! Sure is nice that the Chiefs got beat! When I did watch the NFL years ago, I always liked the Eagles, as long as they weren’t playing the Redskins. I’ve talked before about working at the stadium and meeting some of the Redskin players – super nice guys.

      Temp is 13 here this morning; since it hit almost 50 yesterday, the light dusting of snow disappeared quickly. Still no Wheezer…..hope he’s hunkered down somewhere healing but it’s not looking good.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Morning Filly!
        we met a bunch of Philly players many many years ago. they held summer camp at Lehigh University and we took the kids to watch. I loved Andy Harmon (big red haired guy) and had his jersey on then. we stayed to watch them run off the field and he saw me in his Jersey and autographed it while i was wearing it–back shoulder…still have it. I have 2 others but they’re not signed. John Runyan and Peyton Manning.
        hope wheezer’s going to be okay!

        Liked by 1 person

  9. Margot Cleveland Profile picture

    Margot Cleveland

    @ProfMJCleveland

    7h• 8 tweets • 2 min read •

    Read on X

    🔥On Friday, the Blue States filed a Motion to Enforce TRO claiming Trump Administration had violated TRO. Tonight Trump Administration responded. The filings illustrate precisely what I noted were issues before: that court failed to conclude what law would be violated.

    2/ Here’s the link to Blue States’ filing: storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.usco…

    3/ Here’s link to Trump’s response: storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.usco…

    4/ Response makes several points that I had highlighted before as things still allowed: Some of the funding frozen was frozen b/c it came from other agencies that weren’t defendants. Other funding frozen b/c it was frozen by earlier EOs and an earlier OMB Directive.

    5/ Other grants are in review process to ensure comply with statutes–and TRO said you can w/h if required by statute, reg., or grant.

    6/ Also interesting is that grantees all started to try to pull huge amount of funds out triggering automatic red flag that required manual review of files and that is causing delay.

    7/ Court created mess because it never addressed any specific grant or specific Defendant so it now needs to determine if Trump Administration violated TRO with variety of different grants, with a variety of reasons they weren’t yet distributed, including reasons unrelated to

    8/8 freeze. I’d wager, nonetheless, court will find violation of TRO, which is absolutely nuts because there is no irreparable harm–you can always sue & get the money for everything they are complaining about.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Margot Cleveland Profile picture

      Margot Cleveland

      @ProfMJCleveland

      6h• 3 tweets • 1 min read •

      Read on X

      🚨🚨🚨BREAKING: Trump Administration files Emergency Motion to Vacate TRO which prohibits political appointees from accessing Treasury Dep’t databases. 1/

      2/ Main focus is outrageous interference on Executive oversight by political appointees, but also highlights fact that contractors also have access to databases that everyone was screaming would be at risk if Musk had access to.

      3/3 Trump asks for Stay if TRO isn’t vacated or at least modified to seek an appeal. Full Motion here: storage.courtlistener.com/recap/gov.usco…

      Liked by 2 people

          1. I am flat out disgusted that our gov’t doesn’t follow BASIC accounting principles!!! double entry–using the account code for WHERE the funds came out of and the account code for where the funds are GOING to!!! no wonder they never pass audits–WTF??? this is first day accounting rules!!

            Liked by 1 person

  10. Charlotte99

    Charlotte99

    February 10, 2025 5:07 am

    @elonmusk
    3m
    The @DOGE team just discovered that FEMA sent $59M LAST WEEK to luxury hotels in New York City to house illegal migrants. Sending this money violated the law and is in gross insubordination to the President’s executive order. That money is meant for American disaster relief and instead is being spent on high end hotels for illegals! A clawback demand will be made today to recoup those funds.

    https://nitter.poast.org/elonmusk/status/1888891512303263815#m

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Good morning, Pat and Filly!

    The FAFO Trump II Administration is like watching a thriller movie – MASSIVE theft, fraud and corruption is being exposed by DOGE – FBI and other bureaucrat traitors are being hunted by ICE and Homeland Security – the USA is being restored and patriotism revived….

    In NYC, Donald Trump was called the Reverse Tornado – because he cleaned up, rebuilt and restored everything in his path!

    Off topic – a new movie – Mission Impossible The Final Reckoning- is coming in May! I love movies where the good guys make the bad guys get theirs.

    https://nitter.poast.org/TomCruise/status/1888732451515805940#m

    Weather here – 78º high – 58º low tonight – 81º on Wed – and 70% chance of rain on Thursday! We need the rain! FL erupts in wildfires when we go over a week without rain.

    MINI-SALLY Q 🌼 REPORT – She is much better off the fentanyl! She’s still sleeping a lot, but much more cogent and cooperative.

    Liked by 2 people

  16. DHS Secretary Noem Appears to Accuse ‘Corrupt’ FBI of Leaking LA ICE Raids

    Department of Homeland Security (DHS) Secretary Kristi Noem called the FBI “corrupt” and appeared to accuse the bureau of leaking plans for “large-scale” immigration enforcement plans in the Los Angeles area.

    The LA Times published an article Friday that said U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) would lead the operation, focusing on those without legal status in the U.S. or who have pending orders of removal, according to an internal government document reviewed by the publication.

    The document was reportedly circulated among some government officials last week. The Times also reported that a federal law enforcement source who spoke on condition of anonymity for fear of reprisal said LA FBI and Drug Enforcement Administration officers and agents are being called in to assist.

    Noem shared the article on X, taking a dig at the FBI. “The FBI is so corrupt,” Noem wrote. “We will work with any and every agency to stop leaks and prosecute these crooked deep state agents to the fullest extent of the law.” ICE sources told Fox News they do not know where Noem got the information or what she is basing it on. – Fox News

    Our Take: The vote to advance Trump’s nominee for FBI Director out of committee was expected to happen on Thursday, but the committee moved it by a week. It’s now expected to take place on February 13.

    This story is an example of why Patel needs to be confirmed immediately, and why Democrats need to stop wasting everyone’s time. Of course, you wouldn’t be crazy for thinking their delays and obstruction are intended to create chaos and sabotage. But regardless of intent, necessarily delaying the inevitable has the potential to cost lives.

    It has the potential to sabotage accountability. If true, accountability must go all the way.

    Related: The Senate will convene at 3:00pm today, and Kelly Loeffler is expected to be confirmed to lead the SBA. At approximately 5:30pm, the Senate will vote on the motion to invoke cloture on the nomination of Tulsi Gabbard for DNI. – Ashe in America

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Donald Trump Brings Big Entourage to Super Bowl – With One Key Person Seemingly MIA

    President Donald Trump’s posse at Sunday’s Super Bowl game in New Orleans included Eric Trump, Lara Trump, Ivanka Trump and her son. But as the other members of the first family watched the Kansas City Chiefs and the Philadelphia Eagles vie for the championship, first lady Melania Trump was nowhere to be found.

    Melania Trump has made few public appearances since Trump lost to former President Joe Biden in 2020 and was rarely present during Trump’s 2024 presidential campaign.

    In a statement Sunday, Trump said that the first lady “joins me in sending our best wishes for a great Super Bowl Sunday.” – Huff Post

    Our Take: Understanding what the PSYOP wants from you is incredibly important. If you can figure out what the PSYOP wants, it doesn’t matter if it’s the good guys or the bad guys pushing the PSYOP, what matters is whether you allow yourself to fall for it.

    The Superbowl PSYOP wants you to go back into the matrix and clap like trained seals to commercials that make you feel warm and fuzzy inside as if nothing ever happened and these people didn’t make billions of dollars trying to poison your body and mind for the last decade plus.

    Just because you like the way a PSYOP makes you feel or because you think the good guys are the ones pushing it doesn’t make it any less of a PSYOP.
    – Jon Herold

    ***

    Another Take: So after Lamar calls out Pedophilias in the Super Bowl halftime show, it ends with “GAME OVER:”

    As in, it’s GAME OVER for them all. – Paul Fleuret

    Liked by 1 person

  18. NF: The stupid, ridiculous crap like this that happens every fricking year is disgusting!!!

    “There’s a good reason they used to have a jail and a courtroom with a sitting judge in their old stadium…   

    Cops estimated some 10,000 Eagles fans were out on Broad Street and surrounding areas following the Super Bowl 59 win with some climbing light poles, trees, and sanitation trucks. City Hall was lit up with greens lights as the crowds gathered in front of it chanting for their team.

    A crowd on 12th and Market streets ransacked a truck full of white towels outside a hotel and then set fire to them. Some fans lit a Chiefs jersey on fire and shouted “fuck Taylor Swift.” There’s a reason the call Philly the ‘City of Brotherly Love.’ Or at least there usta be…”

    Liked by 1 person

  21. “A woman was killed and another remains in a serious condition after a lightning strike hit a tree south of Sydney, Australia on Saturday afternoon. Emergency services were called to a home on Old Razorback Road in Cawdor following reports two people were hit by fragments of a tree. Rosanna Hashem was treated at the scene, however, she could not be revived.

    A second woman, also in her 40s, was treated by paramedics and taken to Liverpool Hospital, where she remains in a serious but stable condition. Ms. Hashem, who owned cat grooming service The Groomery, died a day before her 44th birthday, according to a post on fundraising site GoFundMe.”

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Talcum X
    Talcum X
    February 10, 2025 11:19 am

    JUST IN: President Donald Trump’s birthright citizenship executive order blocked by federal Judge Joseph N. Laplante pic.twitter.com/NCHMXxRox3

    — Kyle Becker (@kylenabecker) February 10, 2025

    Liked by 1 person

  24. “The Judicial Confirmation Battle: Trump Decisively Defeated Biden, But Much Work Remains”

    Mike Davis, Feb 10, 2025

    Share

    EXCERPT: “On December 20, the Senate confirmed President Biden’s 235th Article III judge, surpassing President Trump’s 234 confirmations. Of course, anything that diminishes President Trump will receive rave reviews from members of the left and the corporate media who learned nothing from his decisive election victory.

    Despite Biden’s slight edge in judicial confirmations, Trump’s record is stronger overall. President Biden obtained his one-judge margin on the back of his district court confirmations; he bested President Trump 187-174 in that department. District courts are the lowest level of Article III judges. Their decisions usually receive review from courts of appeals.

    However, Biden used a procedural trick to inflate his judicial appointment numbers. The Senate uses a tradition known as the blue slip process. Each nominee must receive the return of a blue slip of paper from the senators of the nominee’s home state that indicates the senators’ support; otherwise, the nomination will not proceed in the Senate….”

    https://mikedavis.substack.com/p/the-judicial-confirmation-battle

    Liked by 1 person

  25. the rest of the story…

    FTA

    The Islamic Republic of Iran’s efforts to assassinate President Donald Trump were far more extensive than previously reported, as was the president’s fear of having another attempt on his life.

    In his new forthcoming book, “Revenge: The Inside Story of Trump’s Return to Power,” Politico reporter Alex Isenstadt says that he was given “extensive access” to Trump’s inner circle during his campaign.

    “Law enforcement officials warned Trump last year that Tehran had placed operatives in the U.S. with access to surface-to-air missiles,” he wrote in a report published at Axios. “Trump’s team worried that the Iranians could try to down his easily recognizable personal jet — better known as ‘Trump Force One’ — as it was taking off or landing.”

    Their concern that Iran would try to shoot down his airplane intensified after he survived a foiled assassination attempt at his golf course in Palm Beach, Florida.

    The threat was so serious that at least on one occasion Secret Service made Trump fly on a different plane rather than his own.Advertisement

    Trump’s plane was flown as a decoy with a number of his aides on board.

    There was another incident that had not been previously disclosed in which Secret Service shot down a drone that had been following Trump’s motorcade using an electromagnetic gun that disabled it.

    The threats from Iran come as Trump threatened last week to unleash all hell on the country if they dared to assassinate any current or former U.S. officials.Advertisement

    Trump said last week that he has left behind instructions for the U.S. military detailing what they will be ordered to do if he is assassinated by Iran.

    “And that would be a terrible thing for them to do,” he said. “Not because of me, because if they did that, they would be obliterated. That would be the end. I’ve left instructions — if they do it, they get obliterated. There won’t be anything left.”

    https://www.dailywire.com/news/iran-placed-terrorists-in-us-with-access-to-surface-to-air-missiles-to-take-down-trump-plane-report

    Liked by 1 person

  26. arrest if his order was not OBEYED? who does this dickhead think he is? he’s gonna arrest the President?

    @amuse
    @amuse
    LAWFARE: The order from Rhode Island Judge John J. McConnell, Jr. (Obama appointee) requires the president to resume all paused funding as well as restoring missed payments. He threatened arrest if his order was not obeyed.

    Like

  36. Troublemaker10
    February 10, 2025 3:14 pm

    Elon Musk
    @elonmusk

    Yes, that was a huge lie by the Biden administration. Funds were diverted from almost every part of the federal government to maximize the number of illegals in America. There also appear to be significant funds siphoned from Social Security to pay for illegals.

    Cont…

    Yes, that was a huge lie by the Biden administration.

    Funds were diverted from almost every part of the federal government to maximize the number of illegals in America.

    There also appear to be significant funds siphoned from Social Security to pay for illegals.@DOGE https://t.co/xL20GMNL5X

    — Elon Musk (@elonmusk) February 10, 2025

    Liked by 1 person

  37. Ah, hells’ bells! We’ve got a decent layer of snow out there and it’s still snowing. Yuck! Supposedly, the heaviest snow will to the east – hope that’s accurate! Cloudy, of course, so the temp is only 24.

    Liked by 1 person

  38. Just The News: “Former Trump White House adviser Steve Bannon is expected to plead guilty in connection with fraud charges related to fundraising for a U.S. southern border wall.

    The deal with New York state prosecutors will allow Bannon to avoid prison time, according to legal trade publication Law360, which first reported the story. The trial was expected to begin later this month, according to Reuters.”

    Liked by 1 person

  39. “How companies are advertising in Canada these days….”

    “There is a fruit named hala that looks like an exploding planet and tastes like sugarcane….

    Here is the source…

    Ripe fruits fill the air with a pleasant aroma, much like flowers. The fruit is healthy and can be eaten raw or cooked. It is a major source of food in Micronesia, especially in the atolls. The fibrous nature of the fruit also serves as a natural dental floss. The tree’s leaves are often used as flavoring for sweet dishes such as kaya jam, and are also said to have medicinal properties, the oil to cure headaches and the flowers to cure constipation. The fibers on inner ends of dry keys are used as brushes for painting kapa/tapa. They also contain tasty seeds which are difficult to remove.

    These ends of hala fruit are often strung to make leis. Probably the next superfood… LOL!”

    Liked by 1 person

  41. Just The News: “A federal judge in Rhode Island on Monday ruled that the White House defied his recent court order to release billions of dollars in federal grants.

    Two judges last month blocked President Donald Trump’s administration from freezing federal funds that were expected to be paused by the White House Office of Management and Budget. 

    Judge John J. McConnell Jr. said in his new ruling that the administration failed to comply with “the plain text” of his order, after the Justice Department argued that money for clean energy projects and transportation infrastructure were exempt from the initial order, because they were paused under a different memo.

    McConnell said the initial order was ““clear and unambiguous, and there are no impediments to the Defendants’ compliance with” it, and agreed to grant a “motion for enforcement.” The order did not include any penalties for the White House’s failure, or find it in contempt. 

    The ruling comes after 22 Democratic attorneys general accused the White House of failing to comply with the order on Friday. The White House on Monday claimed that all of the president’s and his administration’s orders would eventually win in court.

    “Each executive order will hold up in court because every action of the Trump-Vance administration is completely lawful,” Harrison Fields, a White House spokesman told the New York Times. “Any legal challenge against it is nothing more than an attempt to undermine the will of the American people.”

    Liked by 1 person

  42. Red State: “I know. After you stop laughing, please continue reading.

    So as Democrats continue their apoplectic meltdown over the actions of President Donald Trump and Elon Musk, head of Trump’s new Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) — the purpose of which, as defined by the White House, is to “implement the President’s DOGE Agenda, by modernizing Federal technology and software to maximize governmental efficiency and productivity” — Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) announced on Monday the creation of a Democrat portal to in effect fight the efforts of Trump and Musk.

    The announcement of the new portal is the latest escalation of Democrat tactics as they continue to push back against the Trump administration’s efforts to freeze spending and cut federal programs. Pretty easy dots to connect, huh?

    A public letter to civil service employees and other public servants from Schumer and Sen. Gary Peters  (D-MI) — the top Democrat on the Senate Homeland Security Committee no less — reads, in part: 

    As Senate Republicans refuse to fulfill their constitutional duty to provide a check on the executive branch, Senate Democrats remain steadfast in our commitment to uncovering the truth. We are prepared to issue demand letters, preserve public records and pursue legal action where necessary.

    Whistleblowers are essential in helping uncover fraud and abuse in the federal government. If you have information you want to share about wrongdoing, abuse of power, and threats to public safety, we stand ready to support you in your pursuit of truth and justice.

    Schumer and Peters noted that the Whistleblower Protection Act prohibits retaliation against federal employees who disclose evidence of wrongdoing.

    The portal asks for name, organization, email, and nature of complaint, including retaliation, wasteful spending, fraud and criminal activity. “Wasteful spending”? You’re joking, right, Chucky? The more I read about this thing, the more it seemed like it was from the satire site “The Babylon Bee.” 

    Schumer is among Congressional Democrats who have been publicly losing their minds over DOGE as it continues to find billions of dollars in wasteful, Democrat-backed spending.

    Again, the hypocrisy is off the charts.

    As even an October 2024 New York Times op-ed, no less, opined under the headline “Democrats Have a Corruption Problem. They Can’t Keep Ignoring It”:

    For the past eight years and across two impeachment trials, the Democratic Party has defined itself in opposition to Donald Trump’s corruption, assailing the ways he abused the presidency for his own financial and political benefit. […]

    For a party that wraps itself in the mantle of truth and integrity, pointing across the aisle and saying “they’re worse” is not good enough. For the sake of their electoral fortunes, not to mention the country they purport to serve, Democrats must show voters a serious plan to curb corruption and corporate crime — including within their own ranks.

    “While some may be tempted to dismiss corruption as a matter of a few errant politicians, the Times op-ed continued, “it is in fact a far more pervasive scourge — to which the Democratic Party has contributed.”

    I’m going to go out on a (safe) limb and bet that conservatives and other Americans who are genuinely concerned about corruption and abuse of power like we’ve seen from the Democrat Party since the early days of Trump’s first administration will jump on the site and do some real whistleblowing.

    The question is, how would Chuck Schumer and his Democrat comrades react to that? The answer is: we already know.” 

    Liked by 1 person

  45. Well, shit – we weren’t supposed to get this much snow! It’s coming down even heavier now. Well, I certainly won’t be going anywhere for a while!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. i can’t respond to you on the board…when i click reply, i get a white box but when i type in it nothing shows.
      i can post an image in the box–it doesn’t show but when i click comment it refreshes and there it is.
      sigh

      Liked by 1 person

  46. Just The News: “A group of investors led by Elon Musk on Monday made a daunting $97.4 billion offer to buy OpenAI to the company’s board of directors, upping his competition with the company’s CEO Sam Altman.

    Musk is a co-founder of OpenAI, which was created as a charity with Altman in 2015. The billionaire left the company in 2019, but has since expressed interest in returning, per the Wall Street Journal.

    The new offer puts a dent in Altman’s plans for the company behind ChatGPT, which includes converting it to a for-profit company and spending up to half a trillion dollars on AI infrastructure.

    “It’s time for OpenAI to return to the open-source, safety-focused force for good it once was,” Musk said in a statement through his attorney Marc Toberoff. “We will make sure that happens.”

    Altman appeared to discourage Musk’s potential acquisition, but joked that he would buy the billionaire’s social media platform X for the same amount.

    Musk’s offer is supported by Valor Equity Partners, Vy Capital, Baron Capital, Atreides Management, and venture firm 8VC, which is led by Palantir co-founder Joe Lonsdale.

    Toberoff claimed that Musk and the group are also comfortable in exceeding any bids that are higher than theirs. “If Sam Altman and the present OpenAI Inc. Board of Directors are intent on becoming a fully for-profit corporation, it is vital that the charity be fairly compensated for what its leadership is taking away from it: control over the most transformative technology of our time,” Toberoff said.”

    Liked by 1 person

  47. George
    @BehizyTweets
    BREAKING: A judge in Arizona just ruled that the defendants in the Trump 2020 electors case brought by Illegitimate Attorney General Kris Mayes have provided enough evidence to probably DISMISS the case.

    “Defendant’s motions also include information that the Attorney General has made statements in the past, suggesting that what happened in this case should never happen again, which they argue shows a desire to deter the actions that were alleged in this case.”

    “The court finds that the defendant’s motions do include information that the charges in this case include, at least in part, some arguably lawful exercise of their rights of petition and speech.”

    This warms my heart very much.

    Liked by 1 person

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