I DON’T!

February is a very romantic month. Florists and jewelers do their best to get men caught up in the moment—maybe leading to some beautiful, some unusual and some downright stupid proposals. The following are some excerpts from an article on ELITEDAILY.COM.   Some made me laugh, most made me shake my head and a few made me wonder who raised these guys.

From: ELITEDAILY.COM:

Bad Food Proposals

My best friend just got engaged and when her SO proposed they were in a little french deli. She had just put a massive mouthful of pie in her face when she saw he had got down on one knee. She was so shocked she spat the pie out all over herself, all over him, all over everything. She just sort of nodded … it was very like her to do something like that so it’s all fine but still … I don’t think he was expecting pie in his face.

I knew a guy who was at McDonalds with his girlfriend one time, and as a joke he wrapped a fry around her finger and said, “Will you McMarry me?” She started crying and called her mom and like started planning the wedding the next day. He hadn’t meant to propose but he didn’t have the heart to tell her so, so he just married her.

Bait & Switch

Saw a couple in a jewelry store when my wife and I were looking. Guy asks to see a ring, kneels, “will you marry me?”. She flips….ohmygod!ohmygod!ohmygod!ohmygod! yes yes yes!! He says “great!” then hands the ring back to the employee and tries to leave the store. He proposed with a borrowed ring. Tries to explain to the girl he couldn’t afford the ring but wanted to propose correctly. She slaps him so hard my face hurt (she put her whole body into the slap) and starts screaming about how her mother was right, etc. etc. No clue if they ever got together, but it was hard to watch.

Charming

My dad stuck the ring in a stick of deodorant, then told my mom she needed to use it. Small argument ensues when mom tells dad she does not need it.

Awkward

Pilot here. Guy asks me to fly him and his SO over a field, where 150 people had formed a heart and two rings. Huge show, I was really impressed. When she saw it, her response was: “Look at all those idiots! How ridiculous is that??” He did not ask his question that day.

I proposed on a dinner cruise and told her I was gonna throw her overboard if she said no. The couple next to us interrupted to ask if she needed help.

This will never be seen, but it’s too good not to mention. My friend’s girlfriend knew he had purchased a ring, and could not have been more excited about it. So when he told her to dress up nice, because he was taking her out for a fancy dinner, she was over the moon. All through the meal, she sat giddily on the edge of her seat. They had appetizers, dinner, dessert, and then… got back in the car to go home. Finally, she said, “What’s going on? Why aren’t aren’t you proposing?”

He apologized, and said he planned to, but the ring hadn’t gotten re-sized yet. She was crushed. Fast-forward a couple of hours, and they were lying in bed at the end of the night. My friend turned to his lady and said, “You should touch my penis.”

“No,” she said. “I’ve had a really disappointing night, and I don’t exactly feel sexy.”

“You should touch my penis.”

“No! You’re drunk, it’ll take forever!”

“You should touch my penis.”

“FINE!”

The ring was under his balls.

And to think, you believed romance was dead.

SOURCE: ELITEDAILY.COM