Weird State Laws Part 2

Montana: No “folf”Anyone who’s driven through Montana has inevitably wondered, “how far could I throw a Frisbee over the plains?” Those who seek answers, avoid Helena; it is illegal to play “folf” (that’s “Frisbee golf”) anywhere not deemed a sanctioned “folf course.” Curiosity could cost you $500 or six months jail time.

Nebraska: No marriage if you have VD

Technically, no person afflicted with a venereal disease may get married in Nebraska. Meanwhile, state officials are still unable to get a green-light for their new TV show, Law And Order: VDU.

Nevada: Be selective with X-rays

Say what you will about the vice and commercialism of Las Vegas—at least they’re looking out for your feet. In Nevada, it is illegal to use an x-ray device to determine someone’s shoe size.

New Hampshire: No seaweed collecting

In New Hampshire it is forbidden to collect seaweed from the beach at night. Yes, it’s unfair, but you should’ve thought about that before becoming a nocturnal sushi chef.

New Jersey: No murder while wearing a bulletproof vest

It’s against the law to murder someone, but in Jersey it’s double against the law to murder someone while you’re wearing a bulletproof vest. See if you can follow along: wearing a bulletproof vest while committing or attempting to commit a crime of the first degree, is a crime of the second degree.

New Mexico: Redefining indecent exposure

Let’s take a break to focus on what’s not illegal: walking around with your butt out. In New Mexico, “indecent exposure” is defined as “intentionally exposing [one’s] primary genital area to public view.” Buttocks are nowhere to be mentioned.

New York: Sales tax for sliced bagels

If you order a sliced bagel in New York City, fuhgeddabout a square deal: “altered” bagels (sliced, toasted, or served with cream cheese, etc.) carry an eight-cent sales tax. Uncut bagels are typically tax exempt.

North Carolina: Be careful with your doggie bag

Be careful what you put in your doggy bag: In North Carolina it is a felony to steal more than $1,000 worth of grease, and a misdemeanor to steal under $1,000-worth. Grease theft, it turns out, was a huge problem in NC before this 2012 law passed, with midnight grease-bandits persistently preventing Biodiesel companies from purchasing restaurants’ excess oil to convert into fuel.

North Dakota: No late-night fireworks

Happy almost New Year! Despite a 1999 amendment allowing the sale of fireworks temporarily from December 26, 1999 through January 1st, 2000, it is illegal to set off fireworks after 11p.m. in Devil’s Lake, North Dakota.

Ohio: Toilet paper in coal mines, please!

Operators of underground coal mines must provide “an adequate supply of toilet paper” with each toilet. It’s too bad the letter of the law here stops at coal mines.

Oklahoma: No bear wrestling

In Oklahoma it is illegal to promote, engage in, or be employed by a “horse tripping” event. Also, it is unlawful to wrestle a bear… but at that point, the law is the least of your worries.

Oregon: No “tests of physical endurance” … while driving

It is considered a speed racing offense in Oregon if you participate in any “test of physical endurance” while on the highway. Sorry, y’all: No more seeing how long you can work the steering wheel with your teeth.

Pennsylvania: Bingo is only for non-felons

Fool me once, shame on you: No person convicted of a felony may operate a Bingo game in Bensalem, Pennsylvania.

Rhode Island: Don’t impersonate an auctioneer

Rhode Island “false personification” laws deem it unlawful to impersonate an auctioneer. Choose your Halloween costume accordingly.

South Carolina: No working (or dancing!) on Sundays

Good news: In South Carolina it is still illegal to work on Sundays! Bad news: it is also illegal to dance on Sundays. Fans of work and/or footwork will both be happy to hear, these antiquated laws are in the process of being repealed.

South Dakota: Fireworks approved to help with farming

Farmers in South Dakota have the green-light to set off fireworks or explosives to protect their sunflower crops… so long as they are six hundred sixty feet away from the nearest church, home, or schoolhouse.

Tennessee: Permits for panhandling

Panhandlers in Memphis must apply for a permit before panhandling. Formerly, this formality cost the destitute $10. Today, it’s free.

Texas: Keep litter on aircrafts

It is illegal in Galveston, Texas to throw litter out of an aircraft. Besides, using the blue bins is so much easier.

Utah: No missiles in bus terminals

Hurling a missile into a bus terminal is a felony—unless you are an appointed officer of the peace or commercial security personnel (see: mall cop.)

Vermont: Clotheslines, be gone

Vermont passed a law just to say there would never be a law prohibiting the use of clotheslines. Good to know.

Virginia: No skunks as pets

In Prince William County, it is illegal to keep a skunk as a pet. Man, the law stinks.

Washington: No Sasquatch poaching

It is illegal to poach a Sasquatch in at least two Washington counties. In 1991, Whatcom Country declared its roughly one million acres of land an official Sasquatch Protection and Refuge Area, giving our nation its first Bigfoot Sanctuary. If Bigfoot exists, lawmakers reasoned, it would be an endangered species, and therefore in need of protection. For this reason, Skamania County has considered Bigfoot-poaching a felony since 1969—still punishable by a $1000 fine.

West Virginia: No drones for bird hunting

In West Virginia it is illegal to use a drone “or other unmanned aircraft” to hunt birds. While you’re out in the woods, you’d better not use a ferret instead of a hunting dog; that’s a $100 fine right there.

Wisconsin: Better make that butter delicious

Giving credence to its reputation as “America’s Dairyland,” Wisconsin law demands that all cheese and butter produced in the state be “highly pleasing.” Oh, and cows have the right-of-way on highways.

Wyoming: Don’t buy junk from a drunk

Like Mama always said, “don’t buy junk from a drunk.” In Wyoming, purchasing scrap “metals, rubber, rags or paper” from an intoxicated person is prohibited.

Originally Published: June 12, 2019 Reader’s Digest