The Navajo Code Talkers

History 3 Minutes

Navajo Code Talkers Day, celebrated every year on August 14, is a day that holds great importance in the history of the U.S. This is because the day recognizes the contributions of Navajo marines during World War II. Yes, Navajo marines encoded and transmitted messages using a complex Navajo language-based code during a time when secret communication was essential to win a war. And guess what? The code was never broken by Japanese forces in the Pacific and proved to be of great assistance to the U.S. Marines. On this day, celebrate the great American heroes and their service to the nation!

During both World Wars I and II, the U.S. military needed to encrypt communications from enemy intelligence. American Indians had their own languages and dialects that few outside their tribes understood; therefore, their languages were ideal encryption mechanisms. Over the course of both wars, the Army and the Marine Corps recruited hundreds of American Indians to become Code Talkers. Records at the National Archives document the origins of this program and the group’s wartime contributions.

World War I

Stationed in France in 1918, Choctaw Indians from the 142nd Infantry Regiment, 36th Division, became the first Code Talkers. At the time, the enemy frequently intercepted Allied communications, inhibiting tactical plans and troop movements.

Leaders of the 142nd turned to American Indian soldiers in the regiment for help. They selected two Choctaw officers to supervise a communications system staffed by eighteen other tribal members. This team began transmitting battle messages in the Choctaw language. The enemy never broke their “code,” and Allied leaders deemed their efforts a success.

For the remainder of the war, the Army continued to enlist soldiers from other tribes as Code Talkers, including the Cheyenne, Comanche, Cherokee, Osage, and Yankton Sioux.

World War II

When the U.S. entered World War II, military leaders remembered the success of the Choctaw Code Talkers and enlisted new recruits from the Navajo, Kiowa, Hopi, Creek, Seminole, and other tribes to encrypt messages for the Army and Marine Corps. (Some sources say Philip Johnston, the son of a missionary who had grown up in the Navajo Nation, suggested using the Navajo language as a code.)

Working with Navajo leaders, the Marine Corps initially recruited 29 Navajo men to train as Code Talkers in specially designed courses. By the end of the war, the Marines had over 400 Navajo men trained as Code Talkers, many of them serving in the Pacific Theater. The Army had similar training programs for its Code Talkers, who generally served in Europe and North Africa.

Their special communication services were used in one of the most extensive military operations ever, the one that happened in Normandy in June of 1944, known as D-Day. They were also pivotal when it came to the battle of Iwo Jima when they secretly transferred more than 800 messages between the command centers and the battlefield.

However, it was not until the 1990s that the value of Navajo code talkers was publicly recognized. In 2001, the veterans that were still alive received the highest honor that can be awarded by the Congress – the Congressional Gold Medal. In the years that followed, their contributions were legally recognized by the Congress, as they passed the Code Talkers Recognition Act in 1982.  In 2014, Arizona passed legislation declaring every August 14 Navajo Code Talkers Day in Arizona.

The Navajo Code

When the Navajo code was first developed, the original selection of 211 words was ascribed with different meanings. In World War II, that number went up to 411. The reason why this code was so difficult to crack is that the Navajo language did not contain any military terminology. To make this work, the Navajo code talkers created an alphabet system that used Navajo words, instead of standard spelling. Also, certain words got a particular meaning, and it looked like this:

The Navajo word for an eagle was atsa, which was a code for a transport plane. Paaki (Hopi language) stood for houses on water, which meant that they were talking about ships. Comanches used the word wakaree’e to name a turtle, and when transferred to code – this was a tank. The Choctaw tribe used the words tushka chipota, which translated to warrior soldier, or just soldier when it came to code. Besh-lo was an iron fish, which obviously meant that a submarine is spotted.

Members of Navajo Code Talkers ride at Veteran’s Day Parade along 5th Avenue on November 11, 2012 in New York City.
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Published by pat frederick

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137 thoughts on “The Navajo Code Talkers”

  1. Morning All!
    saw a gorgeous 8 point buck this morning–thick tines in velvet–awesome rack!!
    he’s been hanging around for a long time, i suspect he’s been a fawn here…he’s still slightly skitish, but we can be out on the deck and he doesn’t bolt.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Liked by 1 person

  18. since the source of the news is fox news…who knows? but if true, they are not skirting the law, they are shitting all over it.
    FTA
    The FBI seized boxes containing records covered by attorney-client privilege and potentially executive privilege during its raid of former President Trump’s Mar-a-Lago home, sources familiar with the investigation told Fox News, adding that the Justice Department opposed Trump lawyers’ request for the appointment of an independent, special master to review the records.

    Sources familiar with the investigation told Fox News Saturday that the former president’s team was informed that boxes labeled A-14, A-26, A-43, A-13, A-33, and a set of documents—all seen on the final page of the FBI’s property receipt —contained information covered by attorney-client privilege.

    The FBI seized classified records from Trump’s Palm Beach home during its unprecedented Monday morning raid, including some marked as top secret. But the former president is disputing the classification, saying the records have been declassified.

    https://thelibertydaily.com/fbi-seized-trump-records-covered-by-attorney-client-privilege-and-executive-privilege-but-refuses-to-allow-special-master/

    Liked by 1 person

  19. FFS…another strongly worded questionairre to wray from grassley…and given 2 weeks to respond…
    article
    FBI director must explain the scope of the investigation that led to the raid and why Hillary Clinton didn’t receive similar treatment when her server containing classified material was discovered in 2016.

    Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa) demanded answers from Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) Director Christopher Wray over Monday’s raid of former President Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago resort.

    Grassley, the ranking member of Senate Judiciary Committee, sent a letter Thursday to Wray with a series of questions about the FBI’s unprecedented raid of Trump’s Palm Beach residence.

    “I didn’t get any satisfactory answers,” Grassley said on “Fox and Friends” after he revealed he spoke to Wray on Tuesday.

    The questions are as follows:

    “When did you approve the raid? When did Attorney General Garland?”
    “What was the predication for the raid? Please provide the predicating records, including the search warrant and supporting affidavit.”
    “What is the scope of the investigation that predicated the raid? Is it limited to federal records and classification issues? Please explain.”
    “Did you discuss the search warrant with anyone at the White House before or after its execution?”– “If so, what was discussed?”– “Did any member of the White House staff or other executive employee, official, or agent, direct you in any way to pursue and execute the search warrant? If so, who?”
    “Did you discuss the search warrant with Attorney General Garland or any of his representatives or subordinates at the Department of Justice before or after its execution? If so, what was discussed?”
    “Has the FBI employed a team to determine which records fall within the scope of investigation and those that fall outside of it? If so, when was that team employed? If not, why not?”

    Grassley also asked Wray about the FBI’s apparent double standard when it came to Hillary Clinton and bureau’s “kid-gloves treatment relating to her mishandling of highly classified information” in 2016:

    As the aforementioned fact pattern illustrates, the Justice Department and FBI engaged in long-running negotiation with Secretary Clinton and her lawyers. The government even allowed non-government attorneys to draft the letters that circumscribed the scope of the document review that would be performed by the FBI. That scope of review significantly limited the FBI’s ability to review all relevant records during Secretary Clinton’s tenure with the Obama-Biden administration. Has the Justice Department and FBI provided the same privilege to former President Trump and his attorneys?

    “As the aforementioned fact pattern illustrates, the FBI, under the Obama-Biden Administration, agreed to destroy government records pertaining to Secretary Clinton’s mishandling of highly classified information as well as laptops associated with Ms. Mills and Ms. Wilkinson. Those records were subject to congressional subpoena and related requests. Has the Justice Department and FBI provided the same privilege to former President Trump and his attorneys? If not, why not?

    Grassley requested Wray respond by August 25.

    https://www.infowars.com/posts/sen-grassley-demands-fbi-director-wray-answer-for-mar-a-lago-raid/

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Good morning! I was always a bit curious about how they used the language as code! I had to learn the phonetic alphabet when I went to work at the airport in Pueblo – one less thing I had to learn in Basic Training – and wondered how it might compare.

    Super cool here and cloudy – probably won’t even hit 85 today, only 62 now – and all of next week is very cool, with good chances of rain. We’ve flipped the switch, apparently. Nice but it brings on the specter of fall, which I wasn’t ready to think about…..everything is so drab and brown.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. every democrat senate–all 50–vote against amendment that only biological females can get pregnant. they are gone
    FTA
    Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL) introduced the measure to the Democrats’ preposterously named bill in a lengthy voting session in which Republicans introduced dozens of provisions that never had a chance to be enacted, simply to force Democrats to take a stance on controversial issues. (The GOP was only successful on one issue. No shock there.)

    In introducing the proposal, Rubio stated that he had “looked back across 5,500 years of human history” and found that “so far every single human pregnancy has been biological female.” He added, “since every pregnancy that’s ever existed has been in a biological female,” he believes that “federal laws [should] reflect that pregnancy programs are available to the only people who are capable of getting pregnant: biological females.”

    What a silly man.

    In all honesty, if Democrats (or anyone else for that matter) purport to believe that men can get pregnant and women can be men, there isn’t any way to reason with them. Dialogue is pointless.

    https://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2022/08/every_senate_democrat_votes_against_amendment_defining_pregnancy_as_unique_to_biological_females.html

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Oh, how cool! I just watched a squirrel and a bunny making each others’ acquaintance, creeping towards each other and going nose-to-nose, then playing with each other! Too funny! Then another squirrel showed up and they started chasing each other, while the bunny headed the other direction.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Entire Article @ LouderWithCrowder: “A police officer never knows what they may see out on patrol. They could break up a fight. There could be a crazy person yelling at a squirrel. We saw one cop pursuing a drunk Amish guy riding a horse. An officer from the Thrall police department in Texas ran into political commentator and video game developer Kyle Rittenhouse.

    So, he posted a photo of this celebrity sighting on Facebook, saying “Make those stops, you never know who you might meet. Today it was Kyle Rittenhouse, welcome to Texas.”

    Not everyone was happy to welcome Kyle to Texas. The mere sight of him smiling sent woke nincompoops into a fit of rage. Some of them may have even been from Texas.

    “Sick you are making him out as a hero. Shame on your officer and this department,” whined one loser.

    “I was thinking they couldn’t stoop any lower, but it’s the police…” said another anti-police jerk who is no doubt voting for Beto.

    “Typical Texas LEO behavior [emoji] [emoji] Everytime I think U guys cldbt stoop any lower U 1 up yourselves.” cried one person who was so angry her fingers didn’t work properly, because I have no idea what “cldbt” is supposed to mean.

    The Thrall Police, to their credit, did not apologize to the angry woke mob (yet). Though, they did add a clarification to the Facebook post: “I must have missed something, I believed that this young man was arrested, charged, indicted and then found not guilty by a jury of his peers. Is this not how our country works anymore? The hate in these comments is terrible, if you have information that is contrary to that I would honestly love to hear it.”

    EVERYBODY GET DOWN! HE HAS A GUN!

    Rittenhouse will be attending Blinn College near Texas A&M in the fall. He was attracted to the Lone Star State’s gun laws. Plus, room and board are cheap since he’ll be living rent-free in the heads of area leftists.”

    Liked by 1 person

  27. There is an entire transcript of his monologue, as well as the video, at the link – it is quite long but a VERY good read, IMO.

    EXCERPT: “The first 9 minutes, 48 seconds of Neil Oliver’s weekly monologue was another incredible eye-opener that challenged listeners to question everything coming from the globalist elites. It’s an excellent “red-pilling” soliloquy that should be shared with those who have yet to open their eyes to the corruption, duplicity, and pure evil exuding from the powers-that-be who want to control us.

    As he said, “The plan is not to fix it. The plan is to break it, and leave it broken.”

    But as you’ll see in the video below, the monologue was cut off. He finished a sentence and then the GB News overlay plays over him. What was cut? He ended by discussing the raid on Donald Trump’s Mar-a-Lago home and how Hunter Biden is still free to roam about the world on behalf of his father. He laid out the ugliness of the whole ordeal in the final minute or so of his monologue, but for some reason GB News cut it on the reply. Here’s what we didn’t get to hear:

    “Across the Atlantic, the Biden Whitehouse sent the FBI to raid the home of former president Donald Trump. Meanwhile Joe Biden and his son Hunter – he of the laptop full of the most appalling and incriminating content – fly together on Airforce 1. No raids planned on the Obamas, nor on the Clintons. Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi flew to Taiwan and onwards to China. Her son Paul, an investor in a Chinese tech firm and with seats on the board of companies dealing in lithium, was along for the ride, into that part of the world where three quarters of the world’s lithium batteries are made. Taiwan leads in that technology.

    It is hard to think the unthinkable. It’s hard to think that all of it, all the misery, all the suffering of the past and to come might just be about money, greed and power. It is hard to tell yourself you’ve been taken for a fool and taken for a ride. It’s hard, but the view from the other side is worth the effort and the pain. Open your eyes and see.”

    It’s possible GB News received a warning of some sort from fascist YouTube as they tend to censor Donald Trump non-stop. But this wasn’t Trump speaking, which is normally the criteria for their draconian censorship, so we can safely assume it was a decision by the British network itself. Here’s the transcript of his monologue followed by the video itself. We uploaded it to Rumble just in case YouTube decides to delete the video that exposes their masters in the Liberal World Order.

    https://americafirstreport.com/gb-news-censors-portion-of-neil-olivers-epic-monologue-that-discusses-trump-raid/

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Oooh, Maria is having Devon Nunes and Kash Patel on her show this morning on Fox to discuss what the situation is with the docs at Mar-A-Lago – I set that to record and set her series to record – she is one of the best there, IMO!!

    Liked by 1 person

  32. If we are going to read the Hopium, we also need to look at the “worst scenario” perspective. IMO, that is what this article does.

    Entire Article: “The warrant obtained by the FBI to search former President Donald Trump’s office and residence at Mar-A-Lago has been made public, and it is a shocker. And I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but this could be the big one—the case where Trump can’t escape legal accountability.

    Appendix B to the search warrant states that the warrant is to search for evidence of violations of the Espionage Act, 18 U.S.C. Section 793, and two other statutes. It appears that Trump allegedly held on to top secret records that he originally lawfully possessed after their return had been demanded by the National Archives.

    Section 793(d) of the Espionage Act states “Whoever, lawfully having possession of…any document…relating to the national defense which information the possessor has reason to believe could be used to the injury of the United States or to the advantage of any foreign nation…willfully retains the same and fails to deliver it on demand to the officer or employee of the United States entitled to receive it” is guilty.

    Section 793(d) is not restricted to classified materials. Rather, it covers any document “relating to the national defense” that contains information that the possessor has reason to believe would be detrimental to the United States if made public.

    Here, the search warrant return states that documents seized from Mar-A-Lago include “classified/TS/SCI documents” (meaning Top Secret or Secure Compartmentalized Information), “Top Secret Documents,” “Secret Documents,” and “Confidential Documents.” So what would the punishment be if Trump is charged?

    Espionage Act — Possible fines and up to 10 years in prison

    The search warrant unsealed on Friday afternoon cited 18 U.S. Code 793, which is part of the Espionage Act, that specifically refers to the “gathering, transmitting, or losing defense information.” If charged for that violation, Trump could face fines and up to 10 years in prison, according to the Espionage Act.

    Concealment of documents — Possible fines and up to three years in prison

    The warrant also pointed to 18 U.S. Code 2071 on “concealment, removal, or mutilation generally.” The provision deems it illegal to steal government documents and makes it a crime for anyone to have any federal record in their possession with the intention to conceal or destroy it. If charged, Trump could face a fine or three years in prison. Additionally, if found guilty, Trump could be disqualified from holding public office in the future.

    Obstruction of justice — Possible fines and up to 20 years in prison

    Trump also faces possible charges related to obstruction of justice based on violations of 18 U.S. Code 1519, which deals with the “destruction, alteration, or falsification of records in Federal investigations and bankruptcy.” The law criminalizes the destruction of federal records and carries the highest sentence of all: 20 years in prison. If found guilty, Trump could face hefty fines of up to $5,000 in addition to prison time.”

    “End Time Headlines is a Ministry that provides News and Headlines from a “Prophetic Perspective” as well as weekly podcasts to inform and equip believers of the Signs and Seasons that we are living in today.”

    https://endtimeheadlines.org/2022/08/there-is-a-real-possibility-that-trump-could-face-indictment-in-the-days-ahead-and-here-is-what-he-could-be-facing/

    Liked by 1 person

      1. yeah, i noticed everything with the “boom” people has been delayed due to security reasons–as it always seems to be…this is a left tactit…

        Liked by 1 person

    2. OK, this says the “possessor.” Would that be DJT as the possessor? And this “…has reason to believe….” applies to whom, exactly? DJT or the “government?” Pretty open-ended there, IMO.

      “…that contains information that the possessor has reason to believe would be detrimental to the United States if made public.”

      Liked by 1 person

      1. as i just replied–detrimental to the fib and/or doj is NOT necessarily a bad thing for the US…if they are protecting thier wrong doing–that makes HIM in the right and them in the wrong

        Liked by 1 person

    3. who gets to determine the threat to the gov’t? if it damages the fib or the doj–that’s a threat to THEM not necessarily the US.
      and if the documents were boxed up and SENT to REALPOTUS BY THE GSA how can any of that be HIS fault?

      Liked by 1 person

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  34. Kash is saying the beginning of this was Russia Gate but Devon takes it all the way back to Benghazi, Obama/Holder and F&F, the IRS targeting conservatives – “….it is all intertwined. Ultimately it leads to a President’s home ransacked by the same goons that were involved in all of this and I would say that a lot of people have criticized the FBI and the DOJ and, I think, rightfully so but someone are making those calls and I would say that the people that have been involved all of those scandals that I just listed are the very same people that are now in charge at the DOJ and at the White House.”

    Liked by 1 person

    2. Maria: “You’re talking about Susan Rice, Jake Sullivan, Lisa Monaco, Deputy AG?” Devon: “Look, if you don’t believe that those people were involved, then you’re living under a rock somewhere! And look, you only have to go as far as this – just look at how they produce their narrative.”

      Liked by 1 person

  35. of course they did…think they didn’t copy it already? (tcth)

    Sandra Opines
    Sandra Opines
    August 14, 2022 10:05 am

    Trump Truth’d

    Donald J. Trump

    @realDonaldTrump
    ·
    1h
    Oh great! It has just been learned that the FBI, in its now famous raid of Mar-a-Lago, took boxes of privileged “attorney-client” material, and also “executive” privileged material, which they knowingly should not have taken. By copy of this TRUTH, I respectfully request that these documents be immediately returned to the location from which they were taken. Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  36. Kash reiterating that only about 60% of the docs that DJT declassified ever got released. He declassified docs on his way out of the WH – ALL docs regarding the Clinton docs/case and the Russia collusion BS but the head of the Archives chose to overrule his declassification orders.

    Liked by 1 person

        1. I do not understand this refusing to allow—excuse my language, but who in the fuck does this asshole think he is?
          and if no one in the just us department finds this appaling then we need to get rid of that too.
          criminals are not given bail but relased on the streets, congress gets away with insider stock trading and nothing is done about it.
          we should be thanking God that this fucking moron NEVER made it on SCOTUS!!!!!
          I am tired of rules for thee but not for me!

          Liked by 1 person

        2. since this happened in FLA…can’t he get a judge in FLA to demand a special master? bump it up to SCOTUS if necessary…this is unmitigated fascist control

          Liked by 1 person

  38. Michael Mukasey claims this has more to do with J6 than anything else. Only one of the statutes involves classified docs; the other 2 apply to general statutes relating to obstruction and interference with government functions. Maria: Do you think this is a fishing expedition to try to find a crime around January 6 to put it on Trump?” [Watch how he parses his words!] “I think it’s an attempt to find evidence tying President Trump to some of the violent events or criminal events that took place on January 6 and, I don’t know what they found, but the fact is, of the 45 separate items that they seized, 11 had any classification markings at all, and only one had the top classification marking, and those were all marked as of the date they left the WH, which was more than a year and a half before this took place, so we don’t know that they would still be regarded as classified. All the others bear no such marking and there are no such categories.”

    Asked about the two tiers of justice: “Understand the AG did not push forth any particular urgent justification for the search; he said that they like to use less intrusive methods when possible and that they engage in focused searches. The warrant itself is completely unfocused and he didn’t explain what it was that made it impossible to do this in a less obtrusive way so….I guess I’d kind of like to see that – I don’t think we’re ever going to see the affidavit in support of the warrant although it would certainly be interesting to find out what it is that they claim to have been looking for, but the warrant itself is very general, authorizing, again, the seizure of just about every piece of paper there.”

    Maria: “And what’s your sense of that? Is that right to have such a general warrant on a former President? It’s obviously unprecedented.”

    Mukasey: “I don’t think it’s right to have that sort of warrant on anyone – the 4th Amendment says that you have to describe a particular place to be searched and a particular person or things to be seized – particular is specific – this was NOT specific. I think that James Madison – he’s the one who drafted the 4th Amendment – must be twirling in his grave like a pinwheel!”

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  42. from tcth

    Legion of One
    Legion of One
    August 14, 2022 12:57 pm

    “Rooms at Hillary Clinton’s two homes designated for the handling and viewing of highly classified information were not always secure, the FBI’s investigation into the former secretary of state’s emails found.

    On top of that, Clinton gave statements to the FBI about those rooms — called Sensitive Compartmented Information Facilities (SCIFs) — that conflicted with other statements that witnesses made in FBI interviews.
    Footnotes in the FBI’s 47-page report, released on Friday, show that the SCIFs at Clinton’s Washington, D.C. residence, known as Whitehaven, and at her Chappaqua, N.Y. home were often left unsecured. ”

    https://dailycaller.com/2016/09/02/fbi-top-secret-rooms-at-clintons-homes-were-not-always-secure/

    Like

  43. I’m excited! I found the entire Star Wars series on the guide and have the trilogy set to record. I’ve been wanting to re-watch some of those movies. I also see I’ve got a lot of “Beyond the Unknown” episodes coming up – maybe some interesting opens.

    Liked by 1 person

  44. The Bee:

    Women are such unbelievably mysterious creatures, trying to figure out when one is mad at you can be, well, maddening! To help, we at the Babylon Bee have collected these very subtle clues to help men know when trouble is afoot.

    – She says, “Hey, I’m mad at you right now” – If you listen carefully, you can pick up on this vague hint.

    – Above your house is a skywriter currently forming the words “I’m mad at you” – Keep a keen eye out for this understated red flag.

    – A toaster is currently hurtling towards your head – A good example of what psychologists like to call a “non-verbal” cue.

    – She says, “Everything is fine”, but she is weeping and pounding her fists on a couch pillow – Eh, probably nothing since she said everything is fine.

    – She’s currently chasing you around the dining room table with a meat tenderizer – Usually a bad sign, unless you’re running away from her with a bag of meat.

    – She unsubscribed from your podcast – Women can be so hurtful when they’re upset.

    – She burnt the meatloaf, which is normal, but there are also razor blades – This may be the right time to ask your wife about any bottled-up emotions she needs to express.

    – She drove a tent spike through your head while you were sleeping and is now in prison – You know, maybe go ahead and check in with her if she says her favorite Bible verse is Judges 4:21.

    – You’re just sitting there playing Warzone on your Xbox and she walks over and “accidentally” trips on the cord and says, “Oops, sorry, Steve” and you’re like, “MICHELLE I KNOW YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE” and Michelle–or whatever your wife’s name is–just shrugs all innocently but you just KNOW for a fact that she KNEW you were in the top 5 and just about to score a solo victory Royale and DID IT ON PURPOSE to get back at you for the time you tossed out her prized VHS tapes with the BBC Pride and Prejudice series while you were cleaning out the garage making room for a snowboard you found at Pollys Secondhand Treasures thrift store on Slauson Ave even though she was all, “When are you gonna snowboard Steve, you get out of breath just walking up the stairs!” – We’re pretty positive about this one, but we’ll see how the evening plays out and get back to you.

    Ah, women. We’ll never be able to fully plumb the depths of their complexity, but perhaps these helpful hints will alert you the next time you’ve raised the ire of your bride.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. BABYLON BEE HEADQUARTERS — We here at the Babylon Bee have been deeply saddened over the past days to see such mean-spirited criticism of our favorite institution of American government, the dearly beloved Federal Bureau of Investigation.

      While seeing agents storm the home of President Trump may give some cause for concern, we feel that the FBI has earned our trust. When they gave up figuring out a motive for the Vegas shooter, the FBI was honest about it. When they were too busy to help gymnasts being sexually assaulted, they were honest about it and hung up the phone. When the anniversary of January 6th came around, who was there at the Capitol to show their support? The FBI. These are patriots who deserve our trust.

      In uncertain times like this, we as a country must come together in support of our bedrock institutions. We are facing unparalleled threats to our democracy. Who but the FBI will stand guard against the domestic terrorists who ask their local school board to stop segregation? How will America continue if we do not arrest those who build LEGO models of the Capitol? Now is not the time for talking about the well-documented cases of the FBI encouraging young men to commit mass shootings. No, friends. Now is the time for putting our absolute faith in the organization who so wisely protected Epstein’s clients, who labored for years to prove Russian collusion before discovering the Steele dossier was a hoax, and who we are sure will finally act on the evidence of Hunter Biden’s felonies any day now.

      So take a deep breath, America. The furor over a measly FBI raid is beyond silly, when the agency has never once descended into partisan politics. We here at the Babylon Bee still believe tha — wait just a minute, good reader. There’s a knock on the door, we’ll be right back.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. BOSTON, MA — In light of so-called “gender affirming care” making the Hippocratic Oath silly and outdated, Harvard Medical School has officially adopted the new oath “Mutilate Kids For Money.”

      While genital mutilation of small children was once frowned upon as barbaric and sadistic, Harvard Medical School has resumed the practice after realizing they can make a truckload of cash. “Sure, I had my doubts about performing invasive surgery on a completely healthy young girl that would render her infertile and permanently scarred,” said obstetrician Dr. Francis Grimstad. “But then, I realized that I could make a lot of cash. Who cares how much I hurt children if I can buy a house in Martha’s Vineyard? Bring me another defenseless little girl and my scalpel!”

      The school decided it was therefore time to replace the antiquated Hippocratic Oath with one that better reflects the school’s values. “Back in the dark ages of medicine, ignorant doctors would make a solemn pledge to ‘do no harm’,” said the president of Harvard Medical School, Daemon Pazuzu. “Luckily, we have now become enlightened to the real purpose of medicine: making money by permanently mutilating defenseless children, while we pat ourselves on the back for being good people.”

      While clinics performing permanent child mutilation have already begun to close in other countries as the harms become well-documented, Harvard has doubled down on its commitment to physically and psychologically traumatizing children. “As we see gender clinics across the globe closing, it only underscores how much we need to indoctrinate young physicians to hurt children,” said Dr. Pazuzu. “If you don’t catch them as medical students, they may actually learn how to read medical research, or develop some form of a conscience. Anyone with a brain knows these gender clinics will inevitably be shut down two decades from now by an avalanche of lawsuits from the kids we mutilated – but until then, we are dedicated to hurting as many children as we can.”

      At publishing time, the ghost of Hippocrates was dearly looking forward to the day of reckoning when all those who intentionally harm others will finally be stripped of the title “physician.”

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    4. WASHINGTON, D.C. — The newly released search warrant of Mar-a-Lago claims that Trump had recently aquired all six infinity stones and was keeping them on a fully assembled infinity gauntlet in his closet.

      “When our mole inside Mar-a-Lago told us that President Trump secured the Mind Stone, we couldn’t afford to delay — we knew he had already acquired the Power, Space, Reality, Soul, and Time stones, and we had to treat the situation with urgency.” Justice Department head Merrick Garland took the stand today to defend the raid on the former President’s house, saying that the “bad optics” were a small price to pay compared with the imminent threat of a fully-functional gauntlet wielded by such a formidable opponent.

      Garland’s address was characterized by some as defensive and flustered, and sources say he “lashed out” when reporters from the New York Post pressed him on who the source was and why he believed a story that seemed unlikely. “I will not stand by silently when the integrity of these brave men and women is unfairly attacked — the risk was legitimate. With a completed infinity gauntlet, Trump could wipe out half of all voters with a snap of his huge fingers!”

      Over the past few months, former President Donald Trump has posted cryptic messages on his social media company Truth Social, which some commentators have taken as veiled threats. “You could not live with your failure, not-Supreme-Court-“Justice” Garland, and where did that bring you? Back to me, the best President since Lincoln.” Other Truths included “A soul for a soul?? That sounds like the best trade deal in the history of trade deals, maybe ever” and “Perfectly balanced, as all things should be,” though some have noted that he posted the latter message while feeling out a new 9-iron on his golf course.

      At publishing time, Garland had already changed his story on his trumped-up reason for the raid, saying that through a miscommunication, the FBI’s mole inside Mar-A-Lago promising dirt on Trump was discovered to be a literal mole.

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